Sand's New Leaf
by Physiologyfan
Summary: He's not afraid and he's not angry, so why hasn't Lee been able to get Gaara off of his mind since their fight during the Chunin exam? Gaara, who is struggling with his new life as Kazekage, feels more lonely than ever. When the Leaf Village's Beautiful Green Beast travels to Suna on an important mission, Gaara takes a strange interest in him. Rated T for violence and sexy parts :p
1. Chapter 1

_It's been a long time. I wonder if he's thought about me at all…I've thought about him far too often._

"Lee," I hear Neji say, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turn to him, realizing I had been staring motionless into the beginning sunrise.

"Sorry!" I apologize, unable to give an explanation for my distant state. I don't even understand it myself.

"We need to get moving. We're almost there, and it would be troublesome to keep the…Kazekage waiting." He warns, taking off ahead of me. Tenten nods wordlesssly, and I follow behind them, finding myself slightly troubled by the tone in which Neji said "Kazekage." I'm no stranger to the fact that Neji dislikes most people, but I'm still bothered by his aversion to the Kazekage.

However, I am thrilled to be traveling on a mission again with my old team. I look ahead at the two of them and can't help but grin to myself. This is what I wanted, isn't it? A chance to spend time with my friends, two of the most important people in my life, second always to Gai Sensei. Also, serving the Leaf Village by going on an important mission is something I always enjoy. Any chance to prove my worth while also protecting those dear to me makes me giddy with excitement. Still very much in the heart of my youth, I must take advantage of every opportunity to put it to the test.

The three of us have been assigned to take an important scroll to the Sand Village, so important that we've been encountered by quite a few enemies on our journey here. Of course, the three of us fight together like clockwork, and since my recovery I've trained harder than ever and become much stronger. Nobody that challenged us for the scroll was a problem for us. With Neji and Tenten by my side, I feel unstoppable, even more so than usual.

Yet why am I unable to keep my head straight? The closer we get to the Sand Village, the harder it is for me to concentrate on the matters at hand. I look up from the sand we're speeding through and stare at the distant buildings ahead, made of sand, sitting atop of sand, and surrounded by a wind fueled haze of sand. I look back down, looking at the grains of sand stuck between my toes, flinging from my sandals with each bound. Every single grain reminds me of him.

_ Gaara._

I shake my head slightly, telling myself not to think about him. But it's no use. Even before I was assigned this mission he's been on my mind more than he should be. Even when I train, which is when my mind goes mostly blank and I focus solely on bettering my body and mind, he pops into my head. I haven't been able to pinpoint why I'm unable to stop my thoughts about him.

As if on cue, a strong wind blows, and sand particles sting my face slightly. Immediately my mind flashes back to my fight with Gaara.

_I'm painfully trying to stand or at least sit up, my confusion and panic fusing into a fearful cocktail. How could he still be conscious after my Hidden Lotus Technique? I thought for sure I'd have him beat once I broke through his armor. Yet there he is, lying in his protective cushion of sand, his arm outstretched to me in a strangely threatening manner.  
__Then I see it, the massive hand of sand hurdling towards me. The look in his eyes, a knowing look of hatred, tells me that this hand could very easily end this, and me. I try to crawl away, but my forceful opening of my chakra gates has torn my muscles, and the hidden lotus depleted every useable ounce of chakra in my body. I've nothing left up my sleeve, and I'm terrified.  
__The sand begins to wrap its tendrils around my left leg and arm, and I struggle futilely against its immovable hold. My weak body has nothing left. I can feel my heart pounding furiously, trying to give my muscles the nutrients they need to fight, and I wonder if these next few moments will be my last. Blood is roaring through my ears, yet nothing can drown out Gaara's voice, however smooth and quiet it is.  
__"Sand coffin."_

"Lee, stop trailing behind. If anything, you should be moving faster than we are, Mr. Taijutsu!" Tenten scolds me, and I tense up. I look ahead at her, and soften under her good-natured grin. Forcing the dark thoughts out of my head, I catch up to my friends, determined to keep pace with them. Yet, my mind soon falls back into the memory as we get even closer.

One thing that I can't seem to push from my mind is those eyes. While his eyes showed knowledge of my soon-to-be defeat, I can't help but wonder if I imagined the sadness I saw within them as well. Even while angry, in pain, and determined to kill me, what shown through more than anything was the sadness. Or maybe it was loneliness?

I'm not scared of Gaara. No, quite the opposite. I'm curious about him.

* * *

The sun is rising, and I silently thank whoever created this building for making my bedroom window facing East. With this view, I can tell the exact moment when the night is over, and I can postpone my endless struggle against Shukaku until the next night. There have been times when I've been able to get a few minutes of light sleep, maybe an hour. However, I wake up whenever his power stirs and must push him back into submission.

At least during the day he lies remotely dormant, and I can pretend if only for a moment that I have any semblance of normality. Of course, this is also futile, considering the looks of fear I receive from everyone I come into contact with.

Contact…What I'd give for the touch of a hand for a moment, or the hold of someone close. I grimace, unable to think of a single person I consider close. Besides, if anyone were to touch me, I'd probably kill them, knowing me.

A sigh rises from my lungs, and I get off of my bed, still made from the night before. Time to start my day, however uneventful it may be. I get dressed and throw my gourd over my shoulder, its familiar weight about the only comforting thing in my life. Protecting myself is all I have, and even now that seems nearly impossible. With every shinobi in the village dedicating their lives to my protection, despite their fear and hatred for me, it's been quite a while since I've gotten into a fight.

I know I should look at that as a good thing, so that I will not fall back into old habits, but part of me still wants to just…Kill. But I have responsibilities now, and such is not the behavior of a Kazekage. My days mostly consist of paperwork, mission assignments, and meetings with people that I can't stand. It's not their faults, because I can't stand anyone. However, those meetings grate on my nerves more than anything else.

We all sit in a room, some of the feudal lords, the top shinobi of the village, and me. We discuss whatever matters are at hand at the time. The feudal lords mostly concern themselves with money and politics, while the shinobi are consumed with the need for power. I'm left with the responsibility of making decisions that actually protect and benefit the people of the Sand Village, a tiresome job considering I hate everyone here.

The citizens bow to me now, and they address me by Lord Kazekage. Yet before I was in this position, I was merely a danger to them, a parasite embedded in the population. No measures of respect can make me care for them. My ability to keep myself from killing them is concern enough from me.

_"Go home, monster!" the girl cries out, slamming her door. I stand there holding the paper bag of ointment, unable to respond. How, when I went out of my way to apologize and make up for my mistake, could she refuse to even hear me out? How, when everyone around me hates me for reasons unknown to me, am I supposed to find love to heal the wounds in my heart? Yashamaru's words, the words that had built me up and gave me courage to come here, quickly fade to the back of my mind…I feel like I could kill right now._

The faint shifting sound of small grains breaks through my thoughts, and I find myself surrounded by a haze of sand, growing thicker by the moment. I let my anger get the best of me again. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and slowly force the sand back inside the gourd. This happens a lot when I remember my past, but I've gotten better at controlling myself. It usually only happens when I'm alone, which is good because when people see my sand they are filled with terror. I mustn't let it show in public, not anymore.

Now it is time to start my day. The sun is fully raised now, and I have a morning meeting to attend, missions to assign to the lower level ninjas, and lots and lot of paperwork. There's no time to waste.

The meeting passes without any major problems, if being stuck in a room of people you loath for multiple hours isn't considered a problem. Then I oversee the assignment of low-level missions to bright-eyed Genin squads who don't know a thing about what it means to be strong. They are clueless to ideas such as pain and true loneliness, and I can only hope that as they get older they experience a small fraction of what I have.

Now I'm in my private office going through papers. It's tedious work, but I prefer it to being around others. Every time I get away from everyone, I feel like I need to recuperate. My frustration takes a while to settle, and I need the time alone to keep myself from going insane.

_Insane? You already are; haven't you always been?_

Suddenly, the door to my office opens, causing a small prickle of annoyance to twinge in my temples. It's one of my assistants, and she stares down at the floor, unable to look me in the eye.

"Lord Kazekage," she says loudly with a bow, her voice shaking almost imperceptibly. "I apologize for interrupting your work, but there are three Leaf Village Shinobi here to see you. They claim to have important information for you directly from the Hokage." She informs me. While I usually don't like being around people, the sudden arrival of Shinobi from the Leaf Village gains my interest. Anything that breaks up my repetitive days is welcomed.

"Send them in." I command, standing up from my chair. I walk around my desk, standing in front of it in wait of my visitors. Their footsteps can be heard down the hallway. Part of me wonders if I will know any of them from my time in the Leaf Village. My question is answered as they enter my office.

The first one that enters is a boy with long brown hair, and the tell tale pale eyes of the Hyuga clan. I vaguely recognize him from the Chunin exam, but cannot remember his first name. The next ninja to enter is a girl with her hair in two buns. I recognize her as the Genin that Temari defeated during the exam, quite easily if I remember correctly. After an extra moment of thought, her name pops into my head. Tenten.

The last one to come into view is a person I remember instantly. He walks into my office with a huge and bright smile on his face, completely contrasting the other two solemn looking Shinobi. A strong tension takes over my body, and I can't explain why. He stands there in his green jumpsuit and orange legwarmers, looking like the least threatening man in the world, yet I know his power. I'm not afraid of him, nor do I want to kill him. I don't know what it is that I'm feeling, but I know exactly who he is.

_Rock Lee._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys, thanks for going on to read chapter two of my story! I just want to clear up a few things before continuing.

First things first, this story is probably going to end up being sort of long. I'm not one to write a short story of only a few chapters, because they always leave too much to be desired.

Also, in case the first chapter wasn't clear, each chapter will consist of Lee's POV first, and then Gaara's POV after the line break. In the future I may end up switching it to Gaara then Lee if my timing is off and I REALLY want something to be told through Gaara's eyes. I promise I'll make that clear if I ever do end up changing it for a chapter or two.

Third, I just want to thank you for reading my story and would like to ask that you take the time to write a review if you feel inclined. I would love to hear feedback, even if it's little things like grammatical errors.

Thanks! **Now on to the story...**

* * *

Gaara of the Sand stands before me in front of a large desk sprawling with papers. Of course, he's staring solely at me, and I feel my resolve fade under his gaze. I smile even wider, trying to hide my discomfort. I still cannot identify what I'm feeling, but it's intensified ten fold now that I'm in his presence. An odd, almost nervous feeling twinges strongly in my abdomen and I can't suppress it.

_ It's not fear, so what is it?!_

The three of us bow to him, and Neji pulls the scroll given to us by the Fifth Hokage out of his pouch. As he begins to talk, I notice that Gaara is still staring me down.

"Lord Kazekage, we are honored to be visiting here in Suna. We come with an urgent message from the Fifth Hokage. She asks that you look it over immediately and send us back with your response." Neji explains curtly. Gaara's gaze finally leaves me, and he gives a slow nod. Without saying a word, he walks up to Neji and takes the scroll from him. Surprisingly, he opens it immediately, without dismissing us. Tenten shoots me a wary glance as Gaara stands there in front of us, reading silently.

As he reads, I look at him like he was to me. His light blue eyes flit up and down as he quickly reads through the scroll. As always, his face is fixed in a stern yet indifferent expression. His pale skin is completely unmarred, save for the mark on his forehead of course.

_Love._

It seems so odd to me that he chose to put "love" on his body. My eyes travel to the gourd hanging on his back, and I remember the murderous sand dragging me by my limbs. Does this boy even have any love inside of him? I've never seen someone full of so much hate and malice. But everyone has love inside of him or her. There is nobody that loves nothing, is there?

Impossible! I love so many things. I love curry with rice, my green jumpsuit, training, Gai Sensei, and countless other things and people. With so many things to love, Gaara must love something in this world. Yes, surely he has love to give, even if it's just a little…I sigh internally, my mind drifting to the romantic aspect of love. Unlike a person like Gaara, I have so much love in me I feel like I'll burst if I don't give it to somebody. However, I have nobody willing to accept that love, and nobody I want to give it to.

I used to try to give my love to Sakura, but I've since learned that she will never accept it. And besides, I realized it was more of an infatuation than a real emotion. Now I save it up for when it will truly matter.

I'm taken out of my thoughts when Gaara begins to close the scroll. When he looks up, his expression hasn't changed one bit. He simply looks at the three of us for what seems like the longest minute of my life.

"I will go with you back to Konoha." He finally says. Tenten gasps, and Neji frowns, while I simply continue to watch him closely. Why would he want to come back with us? And more importantly, why am I so intrigued by the idea?

"We were only given orders to deliver the message to you and return with your response." Neji says quickly.

"We would have to inform the Hokage days in advance before bringing you to the village." Tenten adds. I remain silent, unsure of what I think, and doubly unsure of how Gaara will react to being refused.

"Then you will leave now to inform her?" he inquires calmly of Tenten. She flinches, and glances at Neji and I for help.

"The trip back is dangerous to make alone!" Neji argues, practically yelling. Gaara frowns, and I tense as I watch the cork on his gourd start to tremble, preparing to protect my teammates if need be. He takes a step forward, closer to Neji

"Then you shall go with her. I want you out of my sight anyway."

"Lord Kazekage," Neji starts. However, Gaara interrupts him.

"You two will leave immediately to go inform Tsunade of my arrival. I will leave in two days time after I attend to some outstanding matters here." He commands. Then he turns to me, saying "Rock Lee, you will accompany me on the journey to Konoha."

I practically jump to the ceiling. Those are the first words he's ever said to me, besides "Sand Coffin." Escort him back to the Leaf Village on my own?! Why has he chosen me? I step forward, staring back at him. Judging from his eyes, he doesn't seem to be up to anything suspicious. However, I am still a bit wary, and he is very hard to read.

"I am willing to accept this mission if my team members agree to it." I respond. I glance over at Tenten and Neji, who both look bewildered. Then Neji's face calms, and he looks at Gaara.

"Why do you need one of us to escort you? Don't you have Sand Shinobi that can accompany you?"

"I do. However, one from the Leaf Village will know the journey better." Gaara replies, looking down at the floor. "There are also many Shinobi here in Suna that I do not completely trust yet. Many still harbor a dislike towards the Leaf Village. This way will avoid uncalled for troubles." He has a point, a good one. And even Neji seems to understand that. He nods, and so does Tenten in response.

"Okay, we will leave Lee with you, and go ahead back to the Village to inform the Hokage." He says, sounding a bit defeated.

"Good. You may leave now then." Gaara says suddenly, turning away and going back to his chair behind his desk. Both of my teammates turn to me, concern evident on their faces. I flash them one of my trademark smiles and give them a thumbs up.

"Don't look so down. I'll be fine…I'll complete this mission to the best of my ability, without fail!" I yell, and the both of them smirk at me.

"See you soon." Tenten says, and Neji simply nods in farewell. I watch them leave, and stare at the empty doorway until I can no longer hear their footsteps. Then I turn to Gaara, the nervous feeling returning to my stomach. He's sitting at his desk now, writing silently. I watch him uncomfortably, unsure of what I should do. Where do I go? Does he need me to do anything right now?

"It's not polite to stare." He says quietly, not looking up from his work.

"But you were…!" I start, remembering his gaze when we first entered his office. But I hold my tongue as he drops his pen and looks up at me. "I apologize Lord Kazekage." I say with a bow. "I meant to ask what you require of me for the time being until we depart."

"Leave this room, and an assistant of mine will show you to where you will be staying. You may do as you please until midday two days from now, when you will report back here so we can leave together."

"Right! I will see you then!" I say loudly, letting my excitement get the best of me. Despite being in such an unfamiliar situation, the hype of being assigned a new mission still affects me. He stares at me emotionlessly for a few moments longer than what would be considered normal, and then picks up his pen and gets back to work. At that, I leave the room quietly to find his assistant.

I end up being shown to a small building within short walking distance of the Kazekage's office building. It is small and nice inside, and surprisingly cool compared to the blisteringly hot air outside. I thank his assistant and she leaves me alone in the small hut. I go over to the bed in the corner and flop down on my back. There is a hole in the ceiling, to let out the hot air I'm sure, and through it I watch the sand ride by on the wind.

Reflecting on the recent events with Gaara, I wonder what all of it means. First, the scroll must have had very important information for him to want to come to Konoha. Second, why did he choose me to be his escort above Tenten and Neji? I can understand him not choosing Neji a bit, because of his obvious dislike for him. But still I wonder. Third, what do the next couple of days have in store for me?

I exhale heavily, standing up. There's no sense in laying here thinking. I've got to find somewhere to train! I run out of the hut and start heading for the outskirts of town for a secluded place for myself, still desperately trying to ignore the fourth question in my mind. What is this damn feeling I get every time I think of Gaara?

* * *

I've been looking over papers for hours, trying to get everything ready for my departure. These small matters, like who will take over what aspects of my job while I'm away, take much longer than I expected. After a few more minutes, I throw down my pen in frustration, my hand cramping from so much writing. To give myself some recovery time, I pick up the scroll that the three Leaf Village Shinobi delivered to me and reopen it.

A sense of urgency takes its place in my body as I reread it. A new threat has been forming, a group of high-level ninjas that banded together and are causing trouble in the areas between Suna and Konoha. They've been involved in many robberies involving important information on both the villages. I tense up as I read the most important detail. We have no idea who any of them are.

Usually organizations like this tend to be made up of rogue ninjas from all different lands, but after extensive research and spy missions on the Leaf Village's part, they've come to the conclusion that these men and women have always been off the grid. Who could they possibly be? And most importantly, what are they planning?

Suddenly, I remember the incident from a few weeks ago. My eyes widen at the thought of the attempted robbery that I had downplayed previously. A lone ninja had broken into the office building and was caught trying to escape with an important document about the political inner workings of Suna. In fact, I was the one who caught him. I was walking out with a few Shinobi I had been in a meeting with and spotted a small shadow traveling down the hallway. Seeing through the genjutsu easily, I killed him on the spot.

Could that man have been from this organization that Tsunade describes? I set down the scroll and rub my temples slightly. I had no intention of visiting Konoha, but according to the scroll there have been recent spikes in activity nearer and nearer to the Village Hidden in the Leaves. I can't shake the feeling that something big is going to happen soon, and my gut tells me that I should go as soon as possible to aid them. Also, this business of delivering messages back and forth is slow and tedious. By the time she responds to the questions I have, something probably will have already happened.

Yes, I feel that I'm doing the right thing by going there. Hopefully the journey will pass uneventfully with Rock Lee. I can't put my finger on it, but something about him peaked my interest when he was here in my office. Of course our fight resurfaced immediately in my mind when I saw his face. However, I did not feel anger towards him. Nor did I feel the need to finish what I started.

_Regret. _

That's what it is. I regret hurting him and almost ending his career as a Shinobi. In fact, I'm thankful to see that he has recovered fully. An exasperated sigh escapes my mouth as I hold my head in my hands. Me, regretting hurting someone? It's almost laughable. The only thing regrettable about the whole situation is that I didn't kill him when I had the chance. Right?

How is it that out of the countless lives I've ended and lives I've ruined, the one person that sticks out in my head is this older boy? I grimace, realizing that this is probably why I chose him to accompany me on this journey. I can tell myself that I chose him because he's the least annoying of the three that I had to choose from, or because of his skill in taijutsu, or his speed, or even because I want to see how my almost fatal bout with him has affected his abilities. However, if I'm to be honest with myself, it's because I feel like I owe him something, maybe an apology.

I stand abruptly, walking over to my window. The sun is setting, which means the night will follow quickly behind. A familiar sense of despair falls over me as I prepare myself mentally for another night of sleepless torture. After a few moments of deep thought, I decide to take an evening walk. I've never gotten into the habit of doing this because of the looks I receive just from being in the general public. The fear, no matter how justified it may be, hurts me just a little more each glance I get. However, I resolve to keep myself on the outskirts of town this time. Maybe then I can find some peace of mind.

I've been walking for almost an hour now, and the sun has completely set. The sky is a deep purple, except in the West where a faded sliver of pink clings to the horizon still. The wind has picked up like it has been doing quite often lately in the evening. I feel comfortable in the spray of sand that constantly covers everything, including me. Sand is protection, protection is life, and life is loving myself.

I find myself deep in thought about my ideals and the past that created them as I travel slowly between small cliffs and crags. A deep sadness has settled over me by the time I start to hear the distant noises coming from around the bend. As I get closer, I begin to realize it sounds like a fight. I hurry forward until I'm close enough to feel the chakra. However, I feel only one person, and I've felt that person's chakra before.

I stealthily make my way up to the top of the cliff next to me and look down into the cleared area. Just as I expected, Rock Lee is down there pounding away at a boulder with his fists. Mildly surprised, I take a seat on the edge of the cliff and begin to watch him. His bandaged hands move faster than my eyes can keep track of and are slowly chipping away small portions of the rock.

I guess he did fully recover from the damage I did to him. His left arm moves just as fast as the right, and he seems more determined to grow stronger than any ninja I've ever seen. Does he always do this? It's no wonder he was able to become so skilled in taijutsu. My mind flashes back to our fight.

_ I've been too confident. How in the world could I have not accounted for something like this happening? I look back up, after receiving a blow to the head from Lee. He's coming back at me, but I won't let him touch me again. I block him with my sand, a small smirk coming to my lips. He just had a lucky shot, that's all it is. But then suddenly I'm falling to the concrete floor, his fist connecting powerfully with my jaw from behind.  
__I stand up slowly, feeling pieces of my sand armor fall away from my face. He's staring at me with a face quite different from the pouty frown from earlier with his stupid hand poised in front of his face by habit. Now his face is veiny and red, and is enough to strike fear in the average person. However, I'm not average. I furiously glare back at him, restoring my armor. Already I'm using more chakra than I expected. How can a human being be this fast without using ninjutsu? Before I can act again, he's encircling me quickly, kicking up dust behind his feet. What comes next happens far too fast for me to comprehend.  
__He kicks me into the air by my chin, and then he's coming at me from all angles. My sand can't keep up, and I feel my armor breaking away more and more with each hit. Suddenly I'm hanging from the bandage on his arm, and his vicious voice belts out, "Primary Lotus!" And with that I am kicked harder than I thought possible into the concrete ground. For a moment I black out, but when I come to, I find myself cushioned by my sand yet still temporarily unable to get up due to the agonizing pain in my abdomen from his blow.  
__This is the first time I've been injured in battle, and just the thought of it drives me crazy with hatred. I will destroy this boy._

He was the first person to be able to hurt me physically, ever. I stare down at him as he kicks the boulder repeatedly with each foot, and wonder if that's why I'm so curious about him. Either way, watching him train is oddly mesmerizing. And in the least it gets my thoughts off of more depressing things.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here watching him, but finally he stops moving and simply stands in front of the rock for a few moments. Then he stretches his arms in the air.

"I'm done if you'd like to join me now Gaara-sama!" He calls out cheerfully. I nearly fall off the cliff face at his sudden invitation. Lee never ceases to surprise me, that much is true. As I float down on a thin layer of sand, I watch him closely. Something about the way he looks at me makes me uneasy. After a few quizzical moments, I realize that it's his smiling face. When was the last time a person besides him looked at me without any semblance of fear in their eyes? I'd never admit this, but it feels better than I could ever express to see him there smiling at me, beckoning me to join him as if we're friends. I come to a stop in front of him, and he scratches the back of his head in an almost nervous way.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting. It's very hard for me to stop in the middle of training once I get focused. What can I do for you Lord Kazekage?" He asks. I frown slightly.

"What happened to Gaara-sama?" I ask plainly. He looks surprised and he smiles bashfully.

"I'm sorry, would you prefer that I continue to call you by your name?"

"We're going to be travel companions, so yes I would prefer that." I answer. He nods and gives me a thumbs up and a huge smile, akin to the pose he gave his friends earlier before they left my office. Does this mean he considers me a friend? I am confused, but left with a warm feeling that almost makes me chuckle.

"Of course, you can count on me!" He cries out. A smirk finds its way to my lips, despite my efforts to contain it. "Now did you need something of me?" he asks. I panic slightly, realizing I have no excuse for my watching him for so long.

"No, I was just taking an evening walk…" I begin, swallowing down the extremely irritating bundle of nerves that keeps making my throat its home. "And I saw you here and decided to stay and watch." I finish, feeling uncharacteristically truthful at the moment. He stares at me for a few moments, and then smiles brightly again.

"Oh okay. Well if you'd like, you can join me again tomorrow evening!" he offers. I almost flinch in surprise. Rock Lee, the boy I tried to kill and almost ended his life as a shinobi, asking me to join him for training? For a moment, I wonder if he is planning to attack me then, but I can't find a single ounce of hurtful intentions in those round eyes peering down at me. No, this isn't a person who lives for revenge. He lives for better things, and I find myself almost jealous of his effortless ability to be happy.

"Maybe. I'm very busy tomorrow. We shall see." I say simply, and I turn to leave. I can't keep down the regret that is still burning in my stomach from earlier, and his indifference towards the whole situation makes me feel even worse. I need to leave before I do something stupid like apologizing.

"See you soon Gaara-sama!" I hear Lee call from behind me. I don't answer, and instead walk calmly away from him. But once I am out of his line of sight I find myself running away from him and his friendly demeanor. What is wrong with me? I hate that my guilt lets Lee affect me in this way. Gaara of the Sand does not regret.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

Hey again! Thanks for going on to chapter 3 :) A quick side not before we begin, because I'm sure some of you have been wondering about this. In this story, I wrote it as if the fight with Kimimaro never happened. It just didn't really fit with the story I was going for, and I also didn't like it that much lol. I won't get into details why, because I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't gotten that far yet. But basically, when it ended I was left thinking "Oh…well that was pointless." You all know what I mean!

And also, I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I've had this chapter done since Thursday, but the website has been acting up for me. I don't know if anyone else encountered this, but every time I tried to manage my story I got an error page. But it's all better now so I'm back! :D

But anyway, thanks for reading and sorry I didn't clear that up sooner. And please please please leave some reviews people! I know you're reading it :p

**Now on to the story...**

* * *

I wake with a start, forgetting where I am for a moment. Then, as I become adjusted to the brown stucco walls around me and the wailing wind outside, I remember that I am in the Sand Village, awaiting noon tomorrow when Gaara and I will venture back to the Leaf Village.

As soon as I think of him, my mind flashes back to last night. I was training by myself in a flat area on the outskirts of town surrounded by rocky cliffs. I knew it was a perfect spot when I spotted the large boulder almost perfectly centered in it, similar to the tree stump in the forest clearing I work in at home. I immediately went down and began to train like usual.

_"I must do two-hundred left handed punches, or it's five hundred squats!" I whisper to myself quietly but harshly. I must keep vigilant with my training even when I'm on a mission. A person like me has to work twice as hard to stay at a respectable level and become stronger, which is perfectly fine by me. After all, Gai Sensei always tells me I am a genius of effort, which by my standards is much more respectable than having extraordinary powers handed to me at birth.  
__Suddenly I sense someone close by, around the bend of the cliff behind me where I entered. Continuing to punch the rock, I try to listen without giving away that I've noticed the presence. It actually makes me a bit nervous, me being in a completely different land. I'm not accustomed to this terrain, or the fighting style of Sand Shinobi. Also, I've been training for over an hour and I'm extremely drained. Just as I'm beginning to regret coming here, I see a flicker of red out of the corner of my eye.  
__I have a strong suspicion I know who it is now, but just to be sure I pretend to bend over to stretch. At the new angle I can catch a quick glance of Gaara taking a seat atop the cliff. What puzzles me is that I actually feel relief when I'm sure it's him. Why should I feel comfortable around him after what happened? Anyone else would assume that he's here to attack me, and that this whole escort mission was a setup. But I find myself giving him the benefit of doubt.  
__I think it's his presence. Back during the Chunin exam his presence was ominous, and you could feel him coming before you even saw him. His murderous intent emanated off of him in constant waves that planted deep-seated terror in the souls of most. However, all I feel right now is what I felt in his office earlier. No hatred, just Gaara. Without the anger, he comes off more as mildly curious, a bit indifferent, and unfortunately very sad. That's one thing that hasn't changed, the constant hurt in his eyes.  
__However, now is not the time to be trying to comfort him. I am training and I can't postpone that for anyone, not even the Kazekage. And so I finish my training as usual, but can't help but try a bit harder knowing that he's watching. Something about him makes me want to impress him. I tell myself it's simply because I want to prove to him that even he couldn't stop me from becoming a splendid ninja, but I know that's not true. I feel no anger at all about that. In fact, I never was angry with him in the first place, just determined to recover quickly, even after Tsunade told me to give up.  
__My thoughts have made my training fly by in what feels like a few seconds. As I finish I decide I should let Gaara know that I've noticed him now. After all, he's been watching me for the better part of an hour. I finish my last kick and then turn around and look up at him. He's sitting there, leaning back on his hands, that perpetually indifferent expression painted onto his face like usual.  
__"I'm done if you'd like to join me now Gaara-sama!" I yell up to him while stretching my arms. I start to grin as surprise becomes apparent on his face. But then he gathers his cool like always and lowers down to me on a carpet of sand. The way he looks, motionless in the wind yet floating towards me, seems almost graceful in a way. As he lands in front of me I begin to realize I don't know what to say. I smile sheepishly, panicking in my head. I had all that time and didn't even try to think of a plan?  
__"I'm sorry I kept you waiting. It's very hard for me to stop in the middle of training once I get focused. What can I do for you Lord Kazekage?" I blurt out.  
__"What happened to Gaara-sama?" he asks with a frown. I tense up, feeling mortified. Even that, a very formal greeting, was a bit too casual for him. He's the Kazekage! But I can't take it back now.  
__"I'm sorry, would you prefer that I continue to call you by your name?" I ask, sounding dumb. I curse myself in my head for being so lame. I don't know why I care what he thinks of me, but I can't just pretend I don't.  
__"We're going to be travel companions, so yes I would prefer that." He answers cooly. I have to stop myself from sighing with relief. Instead I channel the surge of happiness that has suddenly taken me by flashing him my nice guy pose. And I swear I see a hint of a grin on his face for a fleeting moment.  
__"Of course, you can count on me!" I declare a bit too loudly. "Now did you need something of me?" I continue. He hesitates and then tells me that he happened upon me while on an evening walk and decided to watch. I find myself oddly flattered that he stayed to watch me. What could be so interesting about me beating up a boulder for a couple hours? I find myself smiling even bigger than before, and before I can stop myself, I invite him to join me again tomorrow night.  
__"Maybe. I'm very busy tomorrow. We shall see." He answers, looking like I caught him off guard with my question for a moment. And he leaves before I can even answer. I bid him farewell as he continues to walk away, and he doesn't answer. It's hard to not to feel a bit hurt by his sudden leaving, but I have to remind myself that it's Gaara. He's just like that, and I know there must be a lot more going on inside his head than he lets on.  
__In fact, I'd say our little conversation was progress. In what, I have no idea. But I feel good right now, and find myself hoping more than anything that he takes me up on my invitation._

I rethink the evening over and over as I eat my breakfast. What could this feeling possibly be? I find myself being shy around him, and I'm never like that. The feeling I get in my stomach is foreign to me even though it feels a smidge like fear, only a little bit. I know I'm not afraid of him, that much I know.

When I look at him and I see the pain in his pale eyes, I just want to fix it. Deep inside me I feel the most burning desire to make that look go away. However, even with the pain in his eyes, I can't look away from him when he's around me. Every time our eyes meet, I feel nervous and I want to look away, but I don't let myself because it would feel wrong. His gaze practically immobilizes me…

_No!_

Suddenly the answer pops into my head clear as day. And once I think it I know it's true. I try to suppress it but it's impossible. I'm attracted to Gaara.

How did this happen? I look down at my food, unable to eat anymore. I've got too much on my mind. Getting up, I decide to explore Suna today. I would be unable to sit around and think about my predicament all day.

Walking around the village doesn't help me much. I find myself searching the crowds for his pale, porcelain face. I tell myself to stop, knowing that it'd be easy to notice him in this sea of beige wrapped heads, everyone protecting their faces from the wind. With that thought I begin to wonder what I must look like to these people. A Leaf Village Shinobi wandering around town, wearing the only bright colors within miles, squinting in the sun while searching every face in the crowd. It soon becomes obvious that as I walk, people tend to part for me. There seems to be an area of a few feet around me in which nobody is willing to enter.

It's a bit downing, being alienated so obviously, but I remind myself that they are most likely simply wary of me. After all, Leaf ninja don't exactly visit here regularly. They're probably all just wondering why I'm here. But still…the looks of what seems like fear feel like they're piercing me. Thank goodness Gaara doesn't look at me like this.

As if on cue, I start to hear murmurs erupt quickly but quietly around me. The word Kazekage floats worriedly around the square. As I listen closer, I begin to hear what they're saying.

"There he is, don't look into his eyes. He might kill you."

"Sweetheart, come over here with Mommy will you? Stay away from that man."

"He's still a monster."

I start to fume at the allegations being thrown around in whispers. He's not a monster, and that is no way to talk about your own leader! I look down to the end of the square and see Gaara walking slowly, watching the ground as he walks. His red hair shifts slightly in the breeze that has suddenly become much lighter than before. He looks stoic and, in a way, beautiful. Yet just as they did with me, the crowd parts for him. These people act as if he cannot tell how they see him, or hear what they say about him. It's amazing how calm he is in the middle of the hushed and hidden pandemonium going on around him, while I am close to bursting with fury.

The boy has already gone through so much pain in his life. I don't know details, but I've heard that he was even more rejected than I was as a child. Except with him, it never went away. The citizens of this village have yet to look past his differences, much like the Leaf Village learned to look past my inabilities with ninjutsu and genjutsu.

"What a frightening boy." I hear someone behind me say to another. "He's not fit to be Kazekage." He finishes under his breath. That's it.

"What do you know about the qualifications of being Kazekage?" I ask angrily, turning around to glare at the blonde middle-aged man behind me. He looks taken aback, but then he smirks.

"More than you do. You're not even from here." He retorts, clearly glancing down at the red headband tied around my waist.

"It has nothing to do with me. You act as if he's some kind of monster." I respond. "You all do!" I continue, raising my voice. I know I'm making a scene, but I'm so angry deep down in my core. Gaara deserves better than this.

"He's your leader, and he works tireless to protect all of you. While all you do is poke fun at him and talk down on him!" I shout, stepping closer to the man. He steps closer to me as well, trying to look as threatening as possible. There's no way this man could even touch me. Only one person could touch me right now with the way I'm feeling, and surprisingly he does.

I feel Gaara's hand encircle my wrist, and I realize I had a fist balled at my side. All my anger immediately flees from my body at his touch, even though his skin is cold. I can feel it through my bandages.

"That's enough." I hear him say. The man in front of me is struck with fear, and I tear my gaze away from his face and turn to look at Gaara. He's standing slightly behind me to my right, still holding my wrist, however lightly.

"Gaara-sama…they were saying such-"

"I know what they say," he says quietly, interrupting me. He lets go of my wrist, looking seriously up at me. "And it's justified."

"No it's not. You don't-"

"I _do_ understand Lee-san. Now come with me." He demands. I just stare at him, unable to understand how he is able to completely disregard the things they are saying about him. I have half a mind to fight every person here that has bad things to say about him. I've never been one to pick needless fights with those weaker than me or to want to hurt anyone, but I'm not myself right now. I can't help it. Now that I've admitted my feelings for him to myself, I'd do just about anything when it comes to Gaara.

"Please." I hear him say, and I see the pain in his eyes bleeding through the shade of seriousness he'd had on a second ago. No, I can't let myself cause him even more pain. I nod silently and the two of us begin to walk side-by-side out of the square. The sea of beige wrapped faces now parts even wider for the both of us, and I have to bite down my anger. I don't want to make the situation even worse. I'm sure I've upset Gaara already with my rash actions. I wouldn't be surprised if he told me to leave Suna immediately. He probably hates me…

We eventually come to a stop in a clearing much like the one I'd been training in last night, except it is much smaller, and Gaara leads me over to a ledge where we both sit. I stare at him and he stares at the ground, leaving me to wonder what he could possibly be thinking of me right now.

"Why did you do that?" he asks suddenly after many minutes of silence. I feel so nervous and ashamed right now, I question if I can even speak.

"I just…" I start, swallowing. "I know you can hear them. They say those horrible things right in front of you like you don't care."

"I don't." Gaara answers quickly and emotionlessly, still looking at the sand below his dangling feet.

"Are you sure?" I ask quietly. He suddenly looks at me, anger tinting his face.

"Yes I am sure! What do you know of my feelings?" He snaps at me. I try my best to ignore his sharp words. I stare into his eyes again, and the hurt is still there, just as dark as ever.

"I know you look so sad all the time. I can see it in your eyes even when you try to hide it." I say bravely, telling myself that it's for the best. He needs to know that somebody cares. He's looking at me silently, at first with surprise, and then with defeat. Minutes go by as we just look at each other.

"How can you tell what I'm feeling by my eyes? I can't tell what you're feeling by looking at yours." He says finally.

"I just can…You're a pretty open book." I answer. He flinches at that, and then closes his eyes. Leaning back, his face tilts towards the sky.

"But why did you defend me?"

"Didn't you hear them? They-"

"I didn't ask about them. I asked about you." He replies quickly before I can finish. My mouth goes dry as I try to come up with a good answer.

_I like you._

No, I could never tell him that. Especially not now when he's angry with me. But I can at least tell him part of the truth.

"I just want you to be happy. You deserve that at least." I say slowly and quietly. He opens his eyes but still looks up at the sky. Then an almost smile forms on his lips. I start to become hopeful, but then he lets out a bitter chuckle.

"Don't hold your breath on that one." He says, his words dripping with a lifetime of sorrow. I'm afraid that he may drown in it once again like he used to. I don't know what to say to that, so I stay silent and look at the ground. I hate how our conversation is riddled with so many silences. I wish we could talk like friends and laugh at each other's jokes and tell each other stories from our lives. I also wish I could tell him how I feel.

"But thank you for defending me. Nobody's done that for me before." He says suddenly, trailing off quietly. I look up to find him looking back at me again. I can't help the huge smile that takes over my face. Did he really just thank me?

"You're welcome!" I say, giving him a thumbs up. Somehow, that small acknowledgement of his appreciation boosted my spirit tremendously. Even the most insignificant kind word can sound like praise from Gaara because of how rarely he ever even notices those around him, let alone pays attention to something they did.

He then stands up, sliding off the ledge about a few feet to the ground, his back facing me. I stand up too, wondering if he's going to leave now. It wouldn't surprise me. He never seems to want to spend any significant amount of time with anyone. But then he turns to me with such a pained look I can hardly bare it, and asks me the one question I can't answer.

* * *

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask Lee, unable to hold it in any longer. This man, he's been treating me like a friend the last two days and I've done nothing to deserve it. I know he's a nice guy, but this is more than that. I can't stand the regret anymore. It's tearing me apart. Every time he smiles at me it pulls even harder, and the pain in my heart gets sharper.

Yet it also warms me at the same time. The way he looks at me, like I've never done anything wrong to him, it's completely new to me. Never has anyone treated me like this. People respect me because they fear me, but he seems to respect me for a different reason. Maybe he thinks he sees something in me that others don't. What it would be, I have no clue. I'm not exactly likeable, and I've done too much in the past to be forgiven by anyone. I know that and have come to accept it.

I watch Lee's face as he immediately looks at the ground, avoiding my gaze at all costs. It could be my imagination but I swear I see his cheeks start to turn a rosy hue. Is he blushing? This is all so confusing, and the way he reacts to the things I say isn't helping.

"I care about you." He blurts out all of the sudden. I frown, trying to figure out for the life of me why he cares about me.

"You don't have to. Your mission is simply to get me to the Leaf Village safely. That's it."

"It's not just the mission…I thought you could use a friend. And I think you're a good person." He answers. There it is again, that pain in my chest. After what I did to him, how can he think I'm a good person? And he doesn't even know about the incident in the hospital. If he knew about that, he'd never speak to me again.

"Lee-san," I start, finding myself unable to speak correctly. I have to be honest with him and apologize, but for some reason I find myself petrified of losing this friendship, no matter how strained, rickety, and one sided it is. If he somehow still wants to be my friend after this, I promise I'll be a better one to him.

"I'm not a good person." I continue. Lee opens his mouth to say something, but I hold up my hand to silence him. "Just let me explain first." I say. I'm so nervous, and I'm never like this. I find myself feeling light headed, so I remove my gourd and sit on the ground, my back against the ledge we were sitting on previously. My gourd lies motionlessly to my left, and soon Lee sits cross-legged on my right.

"I almost ended your ability to do the one thing that means the most to you." I draw my knees up to my chin and glance over at my gourd, "It's the same as if someone were to take my sand. I'd be more lost than I already am." I say, unable to stop myself from letting it all spill out. "You're so nice Lee-san. But if there was one person you shouldn't feel obligated to treat nicely, it's me. I tried to kill you." I finish, still staring at my gourd. I can't bring myself to look into his eyes right now.

"But you didn't." he answers quietly after a few moments of silence. His voice sounds so uncharacteristically small, as if he's fragile. I wince, thinking of how fragile his bones were when I was breaking them without a second thought.

"But I wanted to. If your sensei hadn't stopped me, I would have…I wanted to kill you so badly." I trail off, swallowing. I finally look at him, wanting so badly to see one of his smiles again. I just want him to tell me it's okay more than anything, even though I don't deserve it. But he's just looking at the ground now, a melancholy expression on his face.

"Do you still want to kill me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No, not at all." I answer back sadly, fighting hard to keep my watering eyes from spilling over. I can't believe I'm actually crying right now. God, what is this man doing to me?

"Then it's okay." He says simply, finally looking at me. He's wearing a small, sad smile. It's not what I was hoping for, but it's something at least. However, the guilt is still running rampant through my body, and I know I'm not in the clear yet.

"It's not…I have to tell you something." I start, feeling myself start to breathe faster. This is it. I have to tell him, but I'm so scared. I try to think back to the last time I was scared, and I think it may have been when Lee first started breaking through my sand armor during that fight. "After the fight, the next day…" I can't stop the tears from flowing down my face now. If I wasn't so upset I'd be embarrassed that Lee is seeing me like this. "I…" My head falls down to rest on my knees, hiding my face.

"I went to the hospital the next day and I went to your room. And I tried to kill you. But Naruto and Shikimaru came and I stopped. But I wanted to do it, but I was so upset… I don't even know what happened really. But I went in there to kill you when you were just lying there unconscious and completely defenseless…" I stop talking, because I've just been babbling through my tears. I can't help it. I've done so much to him, and I'm just realizing now that I want him to care about me. But how could he after everything? My chest aches at the dark and imaginary thought of my success at the hospital and the possibility of him not being here right now listening to my confession.

_Why am I such a monster?_

"I know." I hear Lee's voice faintly. I lift my head to look over at him, and he's giving me the saddest look I've ever seen. "Naruto told me eventually. They didn't want to worry me while I was still recovering. But after I started getting better, they told me." He finishes. I feel my eyes widen in surprise, tears still pouring down my face. I can't believe he knew the whole time and has still been talking to me. I'm surprised he didn't outright refuse to go on the mission to Suna in the first place.

"But I know you're different now. I can tell. So don't worry about it." He says, giving me another sad smile. I turn my head away, tired of him seeing me cry. But I can't stop myself. I just can't see how he can blow off everything that happened like this. He's not even angry a little bit?

"Please don't cry," I hear him whisper. "There's no reason to. I'm not angry with you. I never was." He continues. Then I suddenly feel a hand on my right shoulder. Before I even have a chance to process what's going on, I jump up with a gasp and back away from him. My heart is racing, and sand is pouring of my gourd and surrounding me as a shield. I look at Lee, who is standing up shakily and watching me with surprise. I close my eyes, telling myself to calm down. The panic is hard to suppress, but I try forcing it down like a foul tasting medicine. Nobody has ever touched me in a gentle way since Yashamaru. No matter how much I've longed for it, it still frightens me.

"I'm sorry," I start, trying to stop the shaking in my voice. I open my eyes and strain to see through the haze of sand still lingering around me. Lee is backed up against the ledge, his eyes wide and watery.

"I should go." He says quietly. I can't bear the sadness in his voice. I want him to be my friend and care about me…I realize all of the sudden that I want him to love me.

"No, please." I whimper as he turns to walk away. The haze of sand has finally cleared around me, and has returned to my gourd that is still lying on the ground.

"I'm sorry." He says, and I can hear that his voice is thick with tears. He starts walking away, but soon breaks into a run.

"Lee-san, please wait!" I cry out desperately. Before I even know what I'm doing I start to run after him, a thick tendril of sand reaching out ahead of me. "Stop!" I scream, the sand about to wrap around his ankle. Then suddenly it all comes rushing back at me. The children running from me, the ball that I was simply trying to give back, my uncontrolled desperation for friendship causing me to hurt them. The sand wrapping around their legs and dragging them to the ground. That night, the little girl slammed her front door in my face and I stood silently with the bag of ointment.

_Not again, not with Lee._

I immediately stop in my tracks, and force the sand to fall limply to the ground. He quickly disappears out of sight when he jumps up the rocks with agility only he could possess. I stare at the spot above where he left my sight for a few moments before my vision goes too blurry with tears. There's too many to blink them away, and I clutch my chest with my hand, the pain coming back as painful as it did the night I emblazoned love onto my face. I did it as a symbol of the love I vowed to hold for myself and myself only, but I could have never predicted this. Now, no matter how much I deny it, I love Lee. And if there was any chance of him loving me back, I just ruined it.

I find myself kneeling on the ground, leaning forward until my forehand touches the sand below me. Dammit! I ask myself again, why am I such a monster? I can't stop the sobbing now. I cry my heart out there in the small clearing, far away from anyone who could see me. Why is it always like this for me?

_ Why am I unlovable?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

Hey, I'm reeeeeeeeally sorry for the wait. I've been so busy with work and getting ready to go back to school. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up more once I go back tomorrow since it's supposed to be minus 0 the whole week on my campus. So I'll be stuck inside writing for you guys!

**Now on to the story...**

* * *

Needless to say, Gaara didn't join me for training last night. I knew he wouldn't because of what happened yesterday afternoon, but I still glanced behind me once in a while during my exercises in hopes that I would see him watching me with that uncaring look he always plasters on his face.

I'm on my way to the Kazakage's office building where I'm to meet Gaara so we can embark on our journey back to Konoha. The trip should take about three days and after that I will be out of his hair. The thought makes my stomach drop in despair, but I wonder if it's for the best. The way he looked at me yesterday, I can't get it out of my head. For a moment, after I laid my hand on his shoulder, his eyes looked the same as they did when we were fighting in the Chunin Exam. When all that sand came out and surrounded him, I couldn't help but picture it wrapping around my body and crushing me within its grasp.

I shake my head, telling myself it wasn't fear that I experienced yesterday. No, I ran away because of the look he had, the look that I caused him to have. Knowing that I returned that murderous light into his eyes was the worst feeling I've ever experienced, and I had to get away so I couldn't cause him any more pain. I panicked.

I hope he understands that, because I'm sure right now he thinks I hate him. Or maybe he hates me, I'm not sure. He could hate me for touching him, something I should have thought of before I did. However, he looked so unbelievably sad, I needed to comfort him, and words weren't helping very much. God I just hope he accepts my apology. I really screwed this up, didn't I?

I'm in front of the office building now and nerves are twinging in my stomach. But I force myself to walk in and let the woman at the front desk know I'm here for Gaara. She nods and leaves for a moment. I lean on the desk, finding myself uncharacteristically weak in my legs. If Gaara doesn't forgive me, I don't know what I'll do. A few days ago he was merely a thought in my mind, a faded memory that kept resurfacing. Now however, he's in everything I do, and I feel like his face is imprinted on the back of my eyelids. How will I possibly fulfill this mission if he is angry with me? Just the thought of him being upset with me throws me off balance. This could end up being a very long couple of days.

I hear a door open to my right and I hear voices. I turn and the woman has walked back into the room, and down the hallway I can see Gaara speaking with a group of men and woman. Some are dressed in regal clothing, while others are in the traditional garb of sand ninja. I assume he's giving the higher-ups of the village instructions for his absence. For a second, his eyes catch mine, but then he focuses back on the group. His expression was completely unreadable, which both gives me hope and disheartens me at the same time.

I look at the ground until he finishes, and I hear him bid them farewell. I raise my eyes and he's walking towards me, looking me straight in face. I hold his gaze, trying earnestly to look friendly, but in the end I'm sure I just look sad. He's wearing his regular dark red clothing with his gourd over his back. The only thing different about him is the grey bag slung over his right shoulder. I wonder if his back is going to hurt from carrying so much. I only have an average sized tan backpack on, filled with food for the journey, basic medicine, and a sleeping bag.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks unceremoniously when he enters the room. I nod and he simply walks out the door, through which I follow him. We walk silently through the village for about ten minutes until we are in sight of the tall crevice that is the entrance and exit. During those ten minutes I try to plan how I will apologize to him. He's been looking at the ground this whole time, not saying a thing. Once again the expression on his face is unreadable and I can't for the life of me figure out what he's thinking. Once we're almost there, I decide I'm finally going to speak up now.

"I'm sorry." He says suddenly before I can even speak. I'm caught off guard, my mouth still open, prepared to say the exact same words he just said. I can't help but chuckle nervously.

"I think that's my line." I answer, giving him a small smile. He glances at me shortly, but then looks at the ground again.

"No, it's mine. I could have hurt you again, when all you were doing was trying to help me. I lost control." He responds. I hesitate, wanting to make sure I say the right words.

"You didn't lose control. If anything you have more control now than you ever did."

"What do you mean?"

"For a second you lost your cool, but then you calmed yourself down and brought it back in. That's a hard skill for most people to learn." I explain. He nods slowly then proceeds to walk silently again. I wait to see if he's going to answer, but when he doesn't I eventually continue speaking. "I'm sorry too though. I shouldn't have touched you, and I shouldn't have run away," I start. I'm nervous and it's very hard to come up with the right words to explain why I left him alone there. "I just, I don't know. I knew I'd upset you so much and I panicked."

"Are you afraid of me?" he asks. I shake my head violently, stopping. He walks a few steps but then stops and turns back to face me.

"No! That's not it at all…I just can't stand hurting you." I say simply, almost wincing at the words as they leave my mouth. He stares at the ground for a few moments before answering.

"I can't stand hurting you either." He says almost inaudibly. I can't help but smile at that. He finally looks up at me, and for a moment I see a small smile appear on his mouth as well. However fleeting it was, I register it in my memory, promising not to forget it. A smile from him is rare, and it would be dense of me to neglect giving such a beautiful thing the attention it deserves.

_I'll always try to make him smile._

"So are we okay?" I ask slowly. He nods and turns to walk again.

"Yes, as long as you're okay. We should get going though." He answers.

"Never better! And yes you're right, let's go." I say, and with that we begin to run side by side, the looming walls of the cliff entrance towering over us. It's nice running along side with him. He's slower than me, but faster than most people. I'm much faster than most, so that's to be expected. However, it's nice not to have to slow down for him quite as much as I do for others. I guess in a sense his gourd is like my weights. After years of having it on I suppose he's forgotten it's there most of the time and it has actually aided in his training. Otherwise, I have no clue how he could run so quickly with that thing on his back.

Soon we reach the large expanse of desert that my squad members and I crossed on our way here. The sky is cloudless and the sun is high in the sky, beating down on us. This time running miles and miles through the hot sand doesn't seem quite as tiresome with Gaara here with me. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He's simply looking out ahead of us, a placid look on his face.

"Do you like being out in the desert?" I ask, my voice slightly breathy from running.

"Yes. It's usually very peaceful. However, I think a sandstorm is on its way." He says. I look up in worry, but only see blue sky.

"I don't see anything."

"It'll come." He answers simply, and I take his word for it. We run in silence for a few more minutes, and then I start to notice the air becoming thick with a brown haze. He was right, there is a storm coming. The wind is picking up violently, but I press on as I look at Gaara who seems completely unfazed by this. After many minutes however, the sand is stinging my exposed skin becomes a bit more than just uncomfortable. I grit my teeth and raise my arm to block my face and eyes. I wonder how Gaara can withstand this, but then remember that he has that sand armor. He's most likely using it now to absorb the sand whipping through the air. Lucky him.

Now it has become a full-blown windstorm and the both of us have slowed down to a light jog. Despite his affinity to sand, the wind still threatens to knock him off his feet same as me. The sand hitting my face is now extremely painful, and I can feel how raw my face has become. Just as I'm considering removing my arm bandages and wrapping them around my face, Gaara stops and turns to me.

"Want to stop?" he asks. I stare him wide-eyed and then look around us at the hazy expanse of flat land below us. There is not a tree or hill to be seen, nowhere to hide.

"Where?" I ask, shouting over the screaming wind. Instead of answering he steps very near to me and I watch in awe as sand from the ground surrounds us closely. It rises up slowly to form a circular wall. Within a few moments it closes around us, forming a barrier against the wind. Light trickles in through a small hole at the top, and much like the hut I stayed in these past two days I can see the sand outside rushing past through it.

I look at Gaara to see he is sitting down in front of me and I sit down too. His arms are crossed, something I've noticed he does a lot. I lean back against the sand barrier, sighing in relief. My damaged skin is still prickling with pain, but not nearly to the extent it was when I was out there.

"Would you like medicine for your face? I figured you might get a sand rash out here." He offers. I nod with a thank you and he digs through his bag for a few moments. When he hands it to me, our fingers brush momentarily. I watch his eyes widen and he goes tense for a second or two, but then he regains composure.

"You know I'm not going to hurt you, right?" I ask quietly, rubbing the ointment generously onto my cheeks. He looks sadly at the ground.

"I know that. It has nothing to do with that." He answers. I wait silently for him to continue, knowing that if I pry too much he'll most likely shut me out. Gaara looks up at the hole above us for a few moments, the light shining down to illuminate his face. I find it amazing how quickly we found ourselves so cut off from the rest of the world. In here it's as if only the two of us exist.

"I haven't been touched since I was a child, at least not in a way that didn't hurt me." He says in almost a whisper. Then he looks at me. "I've longed for it, but it's still new to me. You've been catching me off guard." He explains. I frown, my eyes traveling over his hands and arms. It's almost impossible to believe that nobody has touched him, not the way I see him. My line of sight lingers on his neck and face, and the messy, red hair atop his head. His skin looks flawless as usual and his eyes gaze at me in such a resigned way.

"What if I don't catch you off guard? Would it be okay then, if you're expecting it?" I ask. He averts his eyes, looking a bit embarrassed.

"I don't know." He whispers. I begin to unwrap the bandage on my right hand, careful to leave my left hand covered. Seeing the scars he left me with will only make him feel worse. Once it's unwrapped to halfway up my forearm I stop and give Gaara a small but encouraging smile.

"Can you hold out your hand?" I ask, my voice as gentle as I can make it. He hesitates for a long time, but I wait patiently. Then slowly he extends a slightly trembling hand out to me. His eyes are bright with worry even in the dim light.

"I don't want to hurt you." He breathes.

"You won't hurt me." I say, truly believing it. It seems crazy that I trust him so much after everything, but it feels right. Everything about him feels right. And so I reach out my hand too and gently take his in mine. I watch his face as he stares down at our hands cautiously. Gaara is still as a rock and his breathing is shallow and slow. His hand is soft like a child's, and despite his life out here in the sand village under the beating sun his skin is paler than mine. I run my thumb slowly over his palm and he closes his eyes.

I never thought just holding someone's hand could be so intimate, yet as I watch Gaara's face I know this is much more than that. Am I really the first person in years to touch him like this? I think through what I know about him. His father is dead, and I've never heard anything about him having a mother. I wonder briefly about Kankuro and Temari, but I've never seen them as the loving types. Hasn't he had any friends during his life? I know he's cold and can come off as a bit frightening, but I know Neji and Sasuke are like that as well and have found ways to make friends. If he didn't have friends, I guess he has been truly alone this whole time. I can't imagine being totally and completely alone my entire life.

_You don't have to be alone anymore if you just let me in._

* * *

The feeling of Lee's hand in mine is almost more than I can handle. I'm scared, terrified actually. Not of him of course, but of myself. If I lose control for even a second I could cause this dome to cave in on both of us and suffocate him. Or I could suck him into the ground and crush him. I just have to keep myself calm.

However, I actually am much calmer than I expected. A slight chill runs up my arm as he begins to rub my palm gently. His skin is warm and calloused. I like how rough his hands are though, because it's evidence of how hard he works in his training. My eyes are closed and all my other senses are focused on him. I can hear his steady breathing clearly in the small, enclosed space, and I can smell the forest scents lingering on his clothes from his home.

"How's that?" I hear his gentle voice ask softly, breaking through my deep thoughts. I open my eyes and look at Lee, who is clearly trying to figure out what I'm feeling. He watches my face closely with a small, concentrated, and concerned frown. The skin on his face is slightly red from the sand rash, but it suddenly looks so flawless to me. His round eyes are hypnotizing, and I'm starting to realize what's happening to me. I've never felt this way about anyone, yet it's happening with Lee, the taijutsu ninja of the Leaf.

I've never met anyone else like him. He's basically the exact opposite of me. Lee is heroic and is always willing to help anyone around him. He has dreams and aspirations, and so many reasons to live. The way he trains himself, pushing his body to the edge every chance he gets, is inspiring. He's self-sacrificing and stronger than anyone I've ever met, and yet he's pleasant to be around and has even made me smile once or twice. And lately I've been seeing his gentle side in everything that he does around me. The way he speaks to me and how he looks at me make me feel like I can do nothing wrong in his eyes, like I might actually not be a monster. And the way he's touching me now makes me want to feel his hands all over me.

"Good." I sigh, finally answering his question.

_ Absolutely perfect._

He smiles wide at my answer and I can't help but smile back at him slightly. Then to my dismay he lets go of my hand and begins to rewrap his bandages. I force myself not to look disappointed, but inside I just want to beg him to hold my hand again. I've never felt this way before, and all these emotions are rushing around in my head too fast for me to make sense of. All I know is that I don't want to ever be away from Lee. That much I know.

I watch him silently as he finishes wrapping his hand and then continues to rub ointment into the damaged skin on his face. I'm glad I remembered to pack it for him, because I wouldn't want his face to be scarred. He's too handsome.

After a few minutes, I notice that it is very quiet. Looking up, I see the clear blue sky reappearing through the small hole I left at the top of our little dome. It's time to move on and continue our journey.

"The storm is ending." I inform Lee. He looks up and then nods to me.

"Alright, we should get going then." He answers. I let the dome slowly blow away in the wind, disintegrating around us. The way he watches it happen around him in awe almost makes me chuckle. The way he reacts to everything I do is so…cute. I never thought I would be describing anyone like that, let alone Rock Lee. But these last few days have begun to change everything, and I think it's for the better.

After many hours of running through the desert we begin to pass by small shrubs and tufts of grass struggling to grow in the sand. We'll have reached the forest by nightfall. During our time running, Lee has been piping up periodically with random questions or statements, clearly trying to make conversation. At one point he asked me what my favorite food is, and he winced when I told him. Guess he's not much of a meat eater. However, when I asked him what his favorite food is, he launched into a lengthy and detailed story about a shop near his village called the Curry of Life Shop.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that he ran so much that he was unable to wake up until the old woman and her son gave him curry so spicy it brought him out of his unconscious slumber. That seems like something Lee would do. The guy never knows when to give up. However, the story took an interesting turn when he described the incident that occurred the next time he visited that shop with his team and Naruto on a mission. I found myself listening intently, waiting to find out what happened next in the struggle against Raiga, one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. The way Lee tells his stories is captivating, and I love watching his face as he gets excited about what he'll say next. I could get used to hanging around him and talking with him. I don't say much, but I never have been one to talk that often. I'm content listening to him go on and on, something that would probably bother me with most other people. With him however, it's intriguing.

"Look, the forest!" Lee shouts out next to me. Sure enough I look ahead and in the distance I see the large expanse of green that signals out passage into the Land of Fire. I look over at him and he's wearing a wide smile, and I am beginning to wonder if that smile of his is permanent.

"Sorry Gaara, I know you love the desert but I can't wait to be back under the trees. Can't get sand rash in there!" He jokes, and I give him a tiny laugh in return. Within minutes we are underneath the canopy, which makes the already fading light nearly disappear. I slow down to a walk and Lee does the same. I know I won't be able to sleep, but my body could use some rest from running all day. Besides, I know Lee will need his sleep.

"Would you like to make camp for the night?" I ask quietly, turning to him. He nods and stretches his arms up in the air.

"Yeah I'm pretty tired. We both could use some sleep." He says with a yawn. I grimace at the thought. What I'd give for a good night's rest. Lee takes a sleeping bag from his pack and lays it out next to the base of a large tree. We don't bother to make a fire because it's still extremely hot on the border next to the desert. It doesn't help that we are in the heart of summer right now. However, the heat has never bothered me because I'm so used to it, as most Sand Shinobi are. I carefully remove my gourd and lean it up against the tree between two large roots. Setting down my bag as well, I try to find a comfortable place to sit against the tree.

"Didn't you bring a sleeping bag?" I hear Lee ask from my left. I turn to answer him but my mouth runs dry before I can speak. He's lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, and has stripped to just the bottom half of his strange, green body suit. The top half pools loosely around his hips, and I can't help but take a good long look at his muscular back, shoulders, and upper arms. His skin, while covered in small, occasional scars, hugs his muscles closely. Even in the low visibility of the twilight I can tell how attractive his body is. I swallow and try to tear my gaze away from his lower back where the body suit unfortunately begins to cover him.

"Uh," I begin nervously, hoping he didn't notice me staring. I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, finding myself unable to concentrate when he's lying there like that, his big dark-brown eyes practically inviting me over. "I don't sleep very much." I answer finally. He gives one of his small, concentrated frowns.

"But you must be tired!" Lee exclaims, sitting up. I avert my eyes, but not fast enough to avoid getting a view of his sculpted chest. A small sigh escapes me, and I find myself longing for another moment like we had in the desert today inside the shelter of my sand dome. "Try training before bed sometime. That always puts me right to sleep." He offers his advice. I almost chuckle, imagining myself kicking and punching rocks and trees the way he does, day in and day out.

"It's not that I'm not tired enough. I'm very tired…" I trail off, unable to hide the desperate longing in my voice. I am so tired, and I know once Lee falls asleep the lonely feelings will begin to return. "I can't sleep because of Shukaku. It's too dangerous." I explain.

"Ah, the one-tailed beast." He says with a slow nod. "That makes sense…I'm sorry." He continues. Why is he apologizing?

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I can't imagine never sleeping. It must be very hard for you." He says quietly. I nod in reply. Then before I can even say something, he's standing and picking up his sleeping bag. I watch him as he walks over to me and sets his sleeping bag down right next to me, plopping beside me and leaning back against the tree.

"I'll stay up with you." He says simply, giving me a large smile.

"Oh no, you don't have to Lee-san. You need your sleep." I argue, despite my liking of him being shirtless so close to me. Now is not the time for fantasies or longings. We're on a mission for goodness sake!

"If you can't sleep, I will stay up as well. It's only fair." He says. I'm about to argue, but I look at his face and see that he's already very tired looking. Even if he does vow to stay up with me, I'm sure he'll be asleep within the hour. There's no harm in humoring him, especially if it means I'll have less time alone tonight.

"Alright, thanks." I answer. He gives me a thumbs up and stretches out his legs in front of him. It's funny how immediately carefree he became once we entered the forest. I guess being in the familiar terrain makes him feel much more comfortable.

"So Gaara-sama," he starts, his head turned to me. I look at him, trying my hardest to keep my eyes on solely his face. It's so hard when right below his neck is his exposed body, practically calling out to me. I've never felt such a feeling in my entire life, and I try my best to suppress it. However, I can't shake the desire building up inside of me. "Tell me something about you I don't know." Lee says sleepily.

"What do you mean?" I ask, caught off guard by his question. He chuckles, smoothing down his hair with his fingers.

"I've been rambling on all day telling you all kinds of stories but I still don't know much about you."

"Well what do you want to know?" I ask. He shrugs silently and I begin to try to think of something interesting I could tell him. After all, Lee has been telling me amazing stories all day and I've only offered a listening ear. However, I don't have heroic adventure stories like he does. Most of the events in my life have been either uninteresting or painful.

"I don't have exciting stories like you do Lee-san." I admit.

"What kind of stories do you have then?" He asks, looking at me with that concerned frown again.

"Mostly sad stories." I say truthfully.

"That's okay. I don't mind if they help me get to know you better." He replies, trying to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully. Even though I know I'm being depressing and I know this won't make Lee like me more, a large part of me wants to tell him about the events of my childhood. I've never spoken about it aloud to anyone in detail, and if I'm ever going to it'll be with Lee.

So I begin to tell him everything, starting with how much I thought Yashamaru loved me. That man was everything to me, much like Lee's teacher is to him. As I explain everything that happened, he simply listens quietly and contently. Somehow he remains interested in my depressing story, despite my inability to describe accurately the feelings I experienced during it. How do you express a pain like that? But the words, however inadequate, fly from my tongue with ease. Telling him all of this is like releasing a weight that's been dragging me down for years. Just telling someone about my feelings and why I became the way I was, it's uplifting.

I find myself staring up at the sky as I talk, watching the stars through the small cracks between the dense leaves above us. They remind me that I'm still here on this Earth, and that this isn't a dream. I'm nearing the end of my tale and I find myself telling Lee everything about what I was feeling. If anyone would try to understand me it'd be him.

"After that is when I became hard and shut everyone out. I know now that it wasn't right, but at the time it was the only option I had. The ideal for me was suicide, but every time I'm in danger the sand armor automatically appears and protects me. I tried so many times and in so many different ways, but nothing worked. Once I started realizing that they only thing I was good for was killing people, I made that my life. There was nothing that could stop me once I got a whim in my head to end someone. It was all I knew…" I trail off, feeling almost embarrassed at the intimacy of the emotions I'm telling him.

"But then your friend Naruto convinced me that there are so many more things to live for. Realizing that snapped me out of it, and I decided that in order to give my life new meaning I would protect the Village Hidden in the Sand. And that's what I do now, and I have people who care about me. My siblings mostly…But I just wish that I would have figured it long before then. I'm not making excuses, but I think if I just had one friend back then, I would have been a completely different person. If one person had been able to love me, despite how unlovable I am, I would have found new meaning long ago." I finish, letting out a heavy sigh. Finally I turn to Lee, and to my ultimate dismay I find him unmoving with his eyes closed. Is he…asleep? A prickle of annoyance starts in my temple, but dissipates immediately as he suddenly turns to me and reveals his watering eyes.

"You're not unlovable Gaara-sama. I…" He trails off. I stare at him curiously, wondering if he'll say what I think he's going to say.

_You…what?_

"I think you're a really great guy, despite everything that you did. Because you more than make up for it now by serving your village and by being so respectable." He finishes, giving me a bashful smile. I grin back slightly, trying to fight off the disappointed feeling in my chest. What did I want him to say anyway? I almost shake my head, telling myself not to think of things like that. Getting my hopes up could crush me. I must love myself to make up for the love that others don't give. Haven't I learned by now, despite all the changes in my life, that I cannot depend on the love of others?

"Thank you Lee-san." I say quietly. He nods, and I can see that tiredness is weighing heavily on him. However, if I tell him to go to sleep he'll only fight it. His eyes are half closed, and for a minute I think he's about to fall asleep. But then he speaks suddenly.

"I wish we became friends earlier. Things could have been different if you and I were from the same village." Lee says quietly.

"Yeah, I guess they would have."

"I wouldn't have let everyone hurt you the way they did." He whispers, his breathing starting to become slow. He's falling asleep as we speak.

"I would have liked that." I answer, watching his eyes finally close. However, he's still hanging onto consciousness by a thread.

"At least I can protect you now." He says, his words slow and sleepy. I grin at that.

"Yeah, I'm sure you will Lee-san."

"I'll protect you until the day I die." He breathes, and I flinch at his words. Does he really mean that?

"Really?" I ask. However, he doesn't answer. Looks like he fell asleep finally. I lean back against the tree again, thinking over what he said. We just became friends and he already is making promises for a lifetime. I wonder if that's just a Lee thing. After all, he can get pretty intense sometimes, which to my surprise is something I've begun to like about him.

For a while I simply watch him sleep, enjoying the quaintness of the night sounds. The rise and fall of his chest is strangely comforting and I don't feel quite as lonely as I thought I would. I find myself closing my eyes periodically, and for a few fleeting moments I can pretend I'm asleep along side of him. Those moments pass of course, but they help make me feel almost normal.

However, after a few hours of still silence I begin to become restless. The loneliness is starting to rear its head like it usually does in the dead of the night, and I'm back to wondering when the sun will finally rise. Out here there is no time, no counting down of hours. I'm left with only the beating of my own heart and the quiet snores coming from my left to mark time. I turn to Lee, whose placid face is comforting in itself. Then before I can stop myself, I slip my hand into his. There's no fear this time, just curiosity. The warmth of his skin seeps through his bandages and into my hand, and I feel a calm pass over me. I may not be able to sleep tonight, but I'm fine sitting here with him in this newfound peace he gives me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys, thanks for reading on to the fifth chapter! A few things before we get started though.

A reviewer discussed with me some holes in the story that were apparent to him/her. So I explained everything and they advised that I explain it to everyone!

So first off, this story is taking place after Gaara became Kazekage, but before any of the Akatsuki stuff starts going down in Shippūden. Lee is 16 and Gaara is 15 at this point. As for why there are so many holes, I'm a jerk and really didn't like the fillers involving Gaara at the end of the first show and also didn't like the Kimimaro fight. So I basically just pretended they didn't happen! Haha sorry guys, I know some of you are fans of those episodes and that's good. I'm just lame! But I also mainly did that because the story I had in my head didn't include them, and then when I went to write it changing it to include them was hard. But yeah I believe that's all I need to explain. Please review with any more questions, or just review in general because it makes my day! :)

Also (side note), this is the chapter where some of that violence that I mentioned in the description comes into play. I felt a little awkward at the crowded library on my campus today writing such violent things. I sure hope nobody was reading over my shoulder!

**No on to the story...**

* * *

"I'm really sorry Gaara-sama." I apologize, shoving my sleeping bag into my pack.

"How many times are you going to apologize? It's okay Lee-san, I swear." Gaara answers me, facing the tree and slinging his gourd over his shoulder. I put my bag on and run my fingers through my hair.

"Are you sure? I promised and I broke my word!" I exclaim to his back. I feel so bad for falling asleep on him last night. He was telling me such important things about him, and I went and fell asleep. If we weren't on a mission, I'd most likely subject myself to brutal training as a punishment for breaking a promise.

"You worry too much. It's really okay. I never expected you to actually do it anyway." Gaara says with a chuckle, turning towards me. I search his face for any hint of disappointment but can only find a small smile on his lips. Still, I wipe the pout forming on mine. "But thank you for trying." He says kindly. Gaara seems to be in a very good mood this morning, and while it is a bit unusual to see him this way, it makes me overjoyed.

"You're welcome!" I say a bit too loudly, like usual. "Let's get going!" I shout, giving him a thumbs up, but instead of agreeing he starts to laugh. His laugh is musical, and I've never heard him give anything but a restrained chuckle before. However, I don't understand what's so funny.

"What?" I ask, and he clears his throat. I follow his eyes as they travel down my body, and when I look down I realize my jumpsuit is still down at my waist, my upper body exposed. I yelp with embarrassment and quickly throw my bag down so I can pull it the rest of the way up. I know I'm blushing now but there's nothing I can do about it. Leave it to me to look so dumb in front of Gaara!

"Sorry!" I cry out, hurriedly putting on my backpack after I've finished. He waves off my apology and we take off together, making our way up into the trees. Branch by branch we leap through the forest, dapples of pale morning light making their way through the canopy. As we run, for the next few hours I begin to think deeply about our conversation last night. I'd already known parts, like the fact that he is a Jinchuuriki and that he has been feared his whole life because of it. However, when he told it I realized his story has much more to it.

My mind lingers on the man named Yashamaru, who ultimately was unable to love Gaara. He was to him much like Gai Sensei is to me. When nobody else cared, he came along and loved me unconditionally, something that will never change. I can't imagine if he were to suddenly tell me it was all false, let alone try to kill me. And it was Gaara's father who ordered it nonetheless!

I glance over at him and a peaceful expression is laid over his face. It contrasts greatly from the pain that came flooding out of him last night. All I wanted to do was reach out and hold him as he told me everything, tears threatening to spill over from his eyes. However, I know that touch is going to be a mountain that we're going to have to surpass slowly. I would never want to do something that would make Gaara uncomfortable.

Speaking of uncomfortable, an odd feeling starts welling up in the back of my head. It feels as if something is wrong but I can't put my finger on it. I turn my head to Gaara, and he's already looking at me with a knowing expression of concern.

"Do you…?" Is all I can get out before a kunai knife whizzes past me, centimeters from my face. Out of instinct I dogged it without even realizing what was happening. I stop immediately, balancing myself on a thin branch, adrenaline starting to pump through my veins. Gaara comes to a halt beside me, his arms crossed in way I know to be threatening. My eyes scan the trees for any signs of our attacker, and my ears become overly sensitive to every small rustle of the wind passing through the leaves. Then two more kunai knives come flying from the trees, one targeting me and the other one Gaara. Before I can even move to dodge it, a layer of sand appears in front of me and the knife sinks into in an instant. I glance at Gaara in thanks and raise my right arm to assume my fighting stance. I'm not quite as analytical as my friends Neji and Shikimaru, but I'm smart enough to be able to tell where the enemies are. I noticed two small movements after the knives appeared, showing that the enemies had moved closer to the ground to avoid being detected.

"Gaara…" I start.

"I know." He interrupts me. "You get the left, I've got the right." He whispers urgently. I nod and immediately leap off the branch, gliding down through the air, heading directly for where I'm almost sure my assigned assailant is hiding. I raise my leg high and let out a battle cry as I come down on him. However, with a small grunt and an outbreak of movement, he just barely dodges my attack, bursting from the bunch of leaves that shrouded him. My foot connects roughly with the thick branch where he was crouching a second ago and I resume my fighting stance, looking up to see whom I'm fighting.

It's a tall man with light brown, long hair and no headband to be found. His bangs fall over his eyes as he turns quickly with a fist aimed at my face. I duck down, delivering a swift kick to his right ankle, knocking him temporarily off balance. His outfit is not one I recognize from any clan, village, or organization I've heard of before. The man is wearing a tight outfit consisting of black pants and a matching tunic, inlaid with dark green embellishments weaving intricate patterns all over his body. His top is hooded, but his hood fell down when he hastily jumped from the bush to avoid my kick.

He regains his balance and jumps up into the branches above us. I catch a glimpse of him starting to weave a hand sign, but I'm ready. My body is tense with adrenaline and I react quickly, fighting being just about the only thing I'm good at. Leaping up, I catch him off guard from behind and hit him with a spinning kick that should just about finish it. He falls off the branch, hurtling towards the ground. But as I watch him go down, his body turns into a large log in a sudden puff of smoke.

_Substitution!_

I dive to the surface of the branch as I hear the familiar, faint whistling of senbon flying through the air behind me. Training with Tenten over the years has opened my other senses to a familiarity of different weapon types. They bury themselves into a tree trunk a few meters away, and I role to the side as more rain down on the spot where I just was. Gripping the rough tree bark painfully with my fingertips, I swing underneath the branch to protect myself. It's as if they are coming from every direction at the same time!

Taking just a moment to breathe, I glance over at Gaara who is maybe a hundred meters away. His sand is flurrying around him as he protects himself from weapons being slung at him by a bald man with one eye covered with a black strip of fabric, wearing the same clothes as my opponent. Every time Gaara's sand reaches out for him, he dodges it skillfully.

I remind myself to focus, knowing that Gaara can handle himself just fine. If I notice him struggling I will surely come to his aid. With a thud I hear the brown haired man land above me. Flipping swiftly, I swing myself back up onto the branch, my left leg connecting with his chest. I can hear the wind dispel from his lungs and his gasps for air as he staggers backwards. I stand at the ready, searching his eyes for any clue as to why he and his comrade tried to ambush us. He stares at me with a serious look in his eyes, but no answers.

"What business do you have with us?" I ask calmly, catching my breath. He lets out a bitter chuckle and regains his composure.

"We have no business with you my green-clad friend. You're just in the way. Our business is with the Kazekage." He says with a smirk. I raise my right hand in front of me, forming my signature fighting stance.

"You'd be surprised just how 'in the way' I can get." I answer, smirking back at him. Then he leaps up in the tree branches above us and I follow closely behind. Once again he's trying to weave a hand sign, but he won't have the time. My fist connects with his shoulder, knocking him off balance. He grimaces at my speed and tries to flee again to give himself time. I don't know what jutsu he has planned but I don't care to find out.

Glancing over at Gaara, I see him completely overpowering the man he's fighting. The man has fear written all over his face, and I'm sure any second now Gaara will finish him. His sand dances gracefully towards the man, getting closer with every movement. While the man dodges, he never will fully be able to get away at this point, because I can tell Gaara is angry now.

I turn back to my opponent who is running towards me with a kunai knife in hand. When will he learn that these weapons have not worked on me yet? I use my forearm to block his attack, forcing it against his wrist. He grunts, trying to force the knife closer to my face, but I raise my other hand and knock it clean out of his grip. Jumping back, he once again starts that same damned hand sign. Just as I'm about to attack him, I'm stopped by a shuriken sinking into my right shoulder.

The pain floods through my skin and muscle and for a moment I stagger forward. How? I turn and see the man Gaara is fighting staring at me for a moment, another shuriken at the ready in his hand. I see, it was him. Gaara is furious now, and he glances at me with a wild look in his eyes. Then I watch his sand completely envelope the man, and I know what's coming next. I turn back to my opponent who has a smile on his face.

"The jutsu is done. You're too late young man." He sneers.

"Your friend is going to die." I respond simply, while searching around me for any sign of his jutsu. Nothing has changed and I don't feel like I'm in a genjutsu. There is no evidence of a ninjutsu coming to harm me either. As I wrench the shuriken painfully from my flesh and let it fall to the forest floor, I look at him quizzically, but not for long. He rushes at me, throwing kunai knives swiftly and continuously.

"And so will you!" He cries out. I dodge them quickly until I'm backed up against a tree trunk. Then I leap up, barely dodging the last few. That was close. I tell myself to calm down, but I keep getting the sense that something is extremely wrong. Then I realize, he must have cast his jutsu on Gaara if I wasn't affected!

I leap through the branches towards Gaara while dodging assorted weapons coming at me from behind. My gut tells me that he needs my help. I can see him through the trees, and he's just finished his opponent off. He turns towards me, that wild look of fury still in his eyes. I don't see any danger, but still something feels extremely wrong.

Then suddenly, I'm impaled on an unbelievably sharp, hardened sand-sword of sorts. I can feel blood burst from my mouth, and time stops as I look down at my gushing stomach and back up at Gaara. He stares at me with the same murderous look as back when we fought the first time. The agonizing pain in my abdomen is nothing compared to the betrayal I feel as I stare into his eyes.

"W…Why?" I choke out, my own blood gurgling in my throat.

"You tried to hurt Lee." He growls, his voice pushing through the ringing in my ears. I'm about to argue in confusion, but suddenly it all becomes clear. I stare at him sadly, knowing there's nothing I can do now to save myself.

_So this was your jutsu._

* * *

My assailant hangs limply in midair, my sand having pierced through his stomach and clean out his back. He's finished. And to think he had the nerve to ask me why I was killing him! His blue eyes stare at me through his brown bangs with desperation, but he must know that won't save him. I'll never take pity on a man who tries to hurt Lee.

"Lee-kun, are you alright?" I call out, not knowing where he is. I receive no answer and more anger swells up in my chest. Turning my attention back to the sad excuse for a man before me, I twist the sand already in his body, an agonizingly painful action. He cries out in pain, tears forming in his eyes.

"Please Gaara-kun…stop." He mutters tiredly, his strength all but gone. I tilt my head in annoyed confusion. Why would he address me like that? He doesn't know me and I don't know him.

"Where is he?" I snarl. Then I raise my eyes to the trees. "Lee-kun where are you?!" I yell, my voice betraying me and exposing the panic beginning to well up inside of me. Something is very wrong here and I don't know what it is. Where is Lee?

Then, if possible, things get even more confusing as some of my remaining sand flicks upward to block a few senbon coming at me from the side. I can feel their position in my sand and know that if they had hit me it would have been fatal. Where are they coming from if I took out both of our opponents?

_What the hell is going on?!_

I turn furiously towards the direction of the attacker and stop in my tracks as I see a double of the same man who I have dangling from my sand. His hair is falling over his blue eyes and he is wearing the same clothing, yet he is unharmed, and wearing a cruel smirk on his face. I glare at him with extreme confusion and then look back at the one I gravely injured. What I see is something I will never forget.

_No…Oh God…_

A thousand different feelings hit me harder than any attack ever could as I lay eyes on him. It's Lee who is hanging from my sand, stabbed crudely through his body. This is the first time I've seen blood and recoiled at the sight. It's soaked through his clothes and made its way down his legs, droplets quickly dropping down to the forest floor far below us from his feet. Debilitating nausea floods through my body, and I fight to keep myself from kneeling down to catch my breath.

Lee's big brown eyes are half closed, but he still stares at me, and fierce pain is visible in his face. Crimson drips from his chin, oozing out from between his lips. I can't control my breathing and I can barely stand with how lightheaded I've become. The pain in my heart is immobilizing, and I grip my chest harshly, feeling the tears pour down my face. This can't be happening. How could I have done this?

Then understanding comes through my mind like a mist, and I realize what happened. It was a genjutsu, and the man made me see Lee as the enemy. I turn back to the brown haired man slowly, my jaw tensing with rage I've never felt so strongly in my life. He pulls out a large dagger and jumps down so that he's standing on the same branch as me, a few meters away.

"Now I can focus on what I really came here for." He sneers, readying himself in his fighting stance. All my senses are closed off, and my vision is blurry from all the feelings mixed up inside of my head. I will destroy this man no matter what. And then I will somehow save Lee, who is dying with every second that passes by.

I gently lower him down onto a grassy patch on the forest floor with my sand, letting the parts of the sword sticking out of him dissolve away. However, I keep the rest inside of him for fear of him losing too much blood. Then I form a barrier around him with sand, just in case this guy has any more friends with him in hiding.

Now I turn my attention fully on the despicable man in front of me. He's still standing at the ready, the dagger poised towards my chest. I let the rest of my sand pour out of my gourd and form a hand; much like the one I hurt Lee with during the exam years ago.

"You will die." I growl viscously, trying to force down the dreadful feeling welling up inside of me. This is not the time for my demon to come out, not when I need to keep Lee protected. He chuckles arrogantly and spins his dagger in his hand.

"Unfortunately it's you who has to die today. We can't have you helping out the Leaf Village when we're so close to initiating the plan. But don't worry, we haven't forgotten about your poor excuse for a land. We'll destroy the Sand Village as well soon enough." He mocks me, and then he rushes towards me wielding the dagger. My sand blocks his attacks, but there are some close calls. He's much faster than the bald one was, and even he got in a cut or two. There is a thin slice in my armor on my cheek and one on my forearm where the man caught me before. Lee is faster than me, which is why until the man I was fighting threw a shuriken his way, Lee was unscathed by the lightning fast man before me now. I'll have to finish this quick and not give him any chances to hit me. Also I must end this before I let myself get out of control.

I form many small, senbon-like needles with my sand and poise them behind him. However, just as they start to fly towards his back, he turns around and blocks every single one with his knife. But to his surprise, I have more at his back now, and they fly around my head as they go forward and puncture his back dozens of times. He shouts out in pain, but still continues to fight. He leaps up into the air, droplets of blood trailing in behind him, and in a flash of speed he manages to weave through my sand defenses and cracks his dagger down forcefully on my left shoulder. I grimace as I feel it slice sharply through my armor, the blade grazing my skin underneath. That's it. This is taking up too much time and Lee needs help now.

My sand wraps around his feet as he smirks stupidly at me in satisfaction, knowing he hit me. Then surprise and terror take over his face as I simply lift him up by his legs. Dangling upside down, he reaches up, trying to dismantle my hold on him with his knife. He opens his mouth to say something, but don't give him any time. Instead, I swing him to the right and his head connects loudly with a tree trunk, leaving a dent. This man is finished.

I stare at him for a moment, watching his slow breathing as he dangles, unconscious now, blood dripping from the gashes along the left side of his face and head. He has to die for what he made me do to Lee. So I wrap my sand around his body, and as if it was my own hand around him I feel his body crush in my grip as I mutter "Sand coffin," underneath my breath and close my hand into a fist. The blood floods through my sand, and for a moment I start to feel the same satisfactory feeling I used to get when I killed people. But then I push it away, reminding myself that I need to be different now, if not for myself or my village, at least for Lee.

_Lee. He needs help._

Finished now, I leap down to the forest floor, unveiling his unconscious body from underneath my sand barrier. My heart lurches painfully again as I lay my eyes upon his damaged abdomen. What have I done? My eyes travel to his face, which is stained with blood, dirt, and tears. I use my sleeve to wipe off his face, trying my best to quickly get off the mess, and then sling my gourd around so that it hangs in front of my chest. Then, as I lift him up in my arms as gently as I can, I find tears making their way down to my chin again. Not now. I need to concentrate on getting him to safety as fast I can. The skilled medical corps of the Leaf Village will surely be able to save him if I get him there in time.

I position him on my back as if I were giving him a piggyback ride. His limp body is much heavier than I expected, but I pay no matter to the weight. I begin to run along the ground, not trusting myself to leap through the trees with this much combined weight on me between Lee and my sand. If I lose my footing for even a second, I could fall and end up hurting him even more. Nimble movements are extremely restricted right now, and so I simply run as fast as I can.

The tears won't cease, no matter how harshly in my mind I tell myself to stop. My back is becoming hot and sticky already with his blood, still oozing out of the wound around the sand. Also, I can feel his warm breath on my neck. I tell myself to focus on that. No matter how shallow it may be, he's still breathing.

As I continue running for what may have been hours, I feel my body aching painfully from the strain. I find myself wishing I trained all the time like Lee does and had the speed and stamina that he possesses. My sand may be useful for attacking, but at times like this I'm left with just the power of my own energy and muscles. There's nothing chakra or jutsus can do for me right now. This is all Lee has had his entire life, and yet he's become so great at mastering his own body that it's almost become an advantage to him.

Lost in my own thoughts, it takes many minutes for me to realize that the sky has gone dark. Luckily for me I've always had great night sight, maybe because of Shukaku's raccoon like features that he passes on to my body. I continue to run, actually increasing my speed with a renewed urgency. Lee's breathing is growing fainter with every hour, and while I can still feel feathery warmth coming from his slightly parted mouth, I know he's lost far too much blood. If I run through the night I should be able to make it to the Leaf Village by noon. I just hope Lee can hang in there until then. I'll try my hardest save him, my only true friend. If he dies, I'll never forgive myself. If he dies…it will have been me who killed him.

The image of him dangling gruesomely from my hardened sand sticking obscenely from his back flashes in my mind over and over again. And every time it does, my face once again grows hot with tears. I don't know if I'll ever really get it out of my head.

_Please just hang in there Lee._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

Remember when I promised I'd let you know when I switch up the point-of-view? Well I'm keeping to the promise! This chapter starts out with Gaara's POV, because Lee is you know…unconscious.

Also, things start to get interesting this chapter :) Hope you enjoy!

And please, please, please review if you have the time. They make me so happy and keep me writing!

P.S. Gai Sensei is in this chapter! I love that guy (gai, hehe), even though he's so silly most of the time.

**Now on to the story...**

* * *

It's about an hour past dawn, and I'm already on the road that leads to the village. Within fifteen minutes we should be there. I shut my eyes, telling myself that I have to keep going. All through the night I argued with myself, fighting against my body. Every muscle is burning from the effort of carrying Lee. I had half a mind to ditch my gourd about a dozen kilometers back, but I need it just in case anyone else tries to hurt Lee. In my head I'm realizing that I've been traveling much faster than normal, considering the normal journey takes almost three days, and this one has taken a little over two. I guess desperation can do that to a person and make them go beyond what should be possible.

I can see the tops of buildings peeking through the trees in the distance, and my sweat and blood covered body is filled with a new energy. My feet move on their own accord as I race to the entrance of the village that I'm sure will become visible in a few minutes. I'm extra aware now of Lee on my back. The blood between his torso and my back is even stickier then it was originally, and I'm scared I'll have to peel him off of me once we get there. His head still rests on my right shoulder, and somehow he's still breathing. It's so faint now that I have to concentrate just to feel it, but it's still there. That alone is what keeps me going.

Finally I can see the tall white entrance and the green doors that are wide open. Thank goodness, because at this point I feel like I will soon fall down. I ran out of strength hours ago when it was still dark, but I pushed on for Lee. Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing him. If I lost him, I don't know what I would do. We just finally became friends, and for me it's become even more than that. I just can't lose him; not now, not ever.

There aren't any civilians out in the streets yet because of how early it is, but when I enter I turn to my left and see two men at the little shack located just inside the gate. One glances up and does a double take, and then leaps over the counter and runs over to me.

"Lord Kazekage?" He asks as he nears me. I nod weakly, finally falling to my knees, my body absolutely spent. He reaches out to help me but I shake my head.

"Help him," I say, slowly taking Lee off of my back. Dizziness hits me hard as the adrenaline from trying to get here in time fades. "He's dying…" I breathe. As the world darkens around me, I feel my grip on the sand still residing in his body slip away, and the last thing I see before I lose consciousness is new, red blood starting to drip once again from the gruesome hole I cleaved through his body.

_I'm killing him. I know I am, but I can't control it. My eyes are unable to look away from Lee's almost unconscious body lying on the concrete floor. We're in the room we fought in during the Chunin exam, except we are alone and darkness hugs the edges of the room. He's covered in blood, and my sand is still going after him again.  
__"I'm sorry!" I scream, unable to stop my hands from commanding the sand toward him. In an instant he's enveloped in it, and I fight my hardest to stop my hand as it begins to close into a fist. The pain in my chest is unbearable, and my hands fight the instinct to grip my head in confusion and fury.  
__Then I finish him. I stand unmoving, my eyes wide in horror. Silently my sand absorbs every trace of his body and retreats back into my gourd. I killed him. Lee is gone, and I'll never see that smile of his again._

"Lee!" I cry out, waking violently and sitting up. I force my eyes open to rid myself of the nightmare that plagued my unconsciousness. I'm not used to dreams since I rarely sleep. However, with my body pushed certainly past its limit, I must have passed out. Looking at my surroundings, I see that I'm in a hospital room. The white sheets over me are wet with sweat, and I throw them off in frustration. Then suddenly I remember that I'm not the only one here.

My heart starts racing like it did when I first awoke and a despairing feeling drops into my stomach. I'm just about to get up to find out where Lee is when the door to my room opens. The visitor's familiar yellow hair catches my attention, and I force myself to smile weakly as he closes the door behind him and sits down beside my bed.

"Naruto," I begin, my fake smile fading. "How's Lee?" I ask him sadly. I'm nervous to hear his answer, and his somber expression isn't helping.

"What happened?" He asks, anger bleeding through his voice. It takes me a moment to realize why he's angry with me. He thinks I meant to hurt Lee. I swallow, pulling my hospital robe tighter against my body. Before I can speak, he continues on.

"They found sand in his wound Gaara…I know you don't like the guy, but you can't just go around hurting people anymore! You may not know this but he's actually a really great person. And now he's fighting for his life because you can't control yourself! I understand why you're angry with everyone; trust me. But you can't do this anymore. You're the Kazekage!" he finishes, standing now. He's huffing with fury, and I stare up at him sadly.

"It was a genjutsu…" I whisper, fighting the tears that start to spring up in my eyes. Ordinarily I'd never show my feelings like this, especially to Naruto whom I look up to so much, but Lee has his ways of making me emotional even when he's not around. At least I know he's not dead, but the words "fighting for his life" echo loudly in my ears.

"What?" Naruto asks, leaning close to me.

"It was a genjutsu. The enemy cast it on me and made me see Lee as an assailant. It wasn't until after I'd attacked him that it was released…" I trail off, the tears winning the battle and falling down my cheeks. Naruto stares at me, and then slowly sits back down in the chair next to my bed.

"So you didn't mean to hurt him?" he asks, his voice suddenly gentle. I shake my head violently, a headache starting to rise up in my temples.

"I'm not the same person I used to be. And I don't want to hurt Lee anymore. I've gotten to know him now and I would never hurt him intentionally." I struggle to say. Although I haven't admitted my true feelings for Lee to him, even expressing our friendship is hard for me. In Suna training areas, the desert, and the forest, it was easy to forget about everyone else. It was just the two of us together, and nobody to judge. However, now that I'm here with Naruto's vibrant, blue eyes staring me down, I suddenly feel ashamed of my feelings. I know what I want with Lee isn't what I should want. And up until now the thought of us together being wrong didn't cross my mind. There's a fear inside of me that Naruto will see through me and judge these precious feelings I hold so close.

"Alright. I trust you. I need to go tell Kakashi Sensei so he can explain it to Gai Sensei. He's still freaking out and I don't want to be near him when he's like this." He sighs, getting up. I recognize the name Gai as Lee's teacher whom he reveres, and also the man who stopped me from killing him during the exam.

"Is he angry with me?" I ask sadly, not wanting the man most beloved by Lee to hate me.

"No, he's just worried. I think Lee will be all right though. He's not one to give up." He says, flashing me a smile. It's not the same, but it's still slightly reassuring.

"Thank you Naruto. When will his treatment be finished?"

"It's been finished since this morning. You guys got here yesterday." Naruto says. Disorientation passes over me, and I look out the window to my right. It looks to be late afternoon by the position of the sun.

"Oh. Can I see him now then?" I ask. Naruto shrugs as a nurse enters my room. She looks shocked to see me awake.

"Ask her. See you around." He says, turning and leaving the room. The nurse smiles at me in greeting and begins to fidget with my shoulder. I look down and it's wrapped with bandages. That graze by the brown haired man's sword must have been deeper than I originally thought.

"Excuse me, am I able to go visit Lee?" I ask politely, trying to hide the desperation tinting my voice.

"Rock Lee," she says slowly, probably going through a list of patients in her head. "Yes, I can take you to him after I change your bandages. But he's in critical condition so we ask that you remain quiet while in his room." She advises. I sigh in relief, glad to finally be getting some answers.

"Will he be okay?"

"We've stabilized him as best we could. Now it's up to his body to see if he recovers or not." She answers, looking a bit solemn. I wince slightly as she rubs a liquid into my wound, which looks much worse than I expected. He really got me good. The fact that he was able to force his way through my armor in one attack like that is bothersome, but that's the least of my worries right now. "If you hadn't rushed him here the way you did he wouldn't have made it." She says, smiling softly at me. I nod once in thanks, unsure of how to respond to that.

"You're all finished!" She declares, smoothing down the new bandages. I pull my sleeve back over my shoulder and begin to get out of bed. When I plant my feet on the cold floor, I start to feel lightheaded. The nurse notices and steadies me with a hand on my upper arm.

"You're going to be worn out for a bit from how far you pushed yourself." She warns, keeping a strong grip on me as we begin to walk out into the hallway together. I don't answer, finding myself lost deep in thought. What will I see when I go into his room? Part of me is terrified to see the damage I did to him, while the other part is desperate to see his face. Another fear is also rising up inside me, one that I've been unwilling to address until now. Will Lee believe me when I tell him it was a genjutsu? From his point of view it must have looked much different than what I experienced. He most likely thinks I betrayed him and attacked him senselessly.

Suddenly the nurse stops, breaking me out of my thoughts. She gestures for me to wait, so I turn and sit against the far wall, facing the doorway. She enters the room silently, closing the door gently behind her. I close my eyes and lean my head back, trying to calm myself down. My head is pounding and a dull pain still radiates throughout my entire body.

_Just relax. He'll be okay._

Suddenly the door to the room bursts open, and out stampedes Gai, Lee's Sensei. I begin to stand to greet him and explain myself, but before I can even steady my legs he's picking me up.

"Thank you Gaara-sama!" The over-dramatic man cries out, tears streaming down his face. He's spinning around, holding me to his chest tightly. Wide eyed and surprised, I look to the two people in the doorway for help. The nurse watches with a worried look, seemingly unable to decide what to do. The man next to her, Kakashi Hatake, simply rolls his one exposed eye, crossing his arms with a sigh.

"At first I thought you hurt Lee on purpose, but now I'm being told that you saved his life. Thank you so much for bringing my boy back in time!" Gai screams next to my ear, increasing my headache immensely. I have half a mind to force his arms off of me, but I tell myself to be patient. The man must simply be overcome with emotion, that's why he's acting so unreserved.

"You're…welcome." I choke out, my legs dangling back and forth painfully. Even though he's hurting me slightly, I almost laugh, thinking about Lee's relationship with this man. It doesn't surprise me that he would respect a man so high-strung and silly. After all, Lee himself is a toned down version of him.

I gasp for air as Gai finally stops squeezing the life out of me and sets me down. My legs tremble as I try to stand on my own, but the nurse rushes over to lend me her arm.

"Gai, you do realize he's the Kazekage now, right?" Kakashi says from the doorway, his voice showing his embarrassment for Gai.

"And you shouldn't shake him around like that! He's still weak." Scolds the nurse. Gai's face starts to become red, and he drops down to his knees.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so thankful!" He shouts, crying still. The nurse bends down and gets very close to his face.

"Your student needs his rest, so please stop yelling." She says sternly. It's comical to see the large man get backed down so easily by the small young woman before him. Even Kakashi lets out a small chuckle, closing the door to Lee's room and walking over to me.

"He's a bit overdramatic, but he's got a good heart." He explains. I nod as he turns to the older Lee look-alike. "Come on Gai, Tsunade is waiting for us." Gai nods and stands up, wiping his eyes.

"Alright. I'll see you around Gaara-sama!" He says cheerfully. I can't keep up with the man's changing emotions, so I simply nod and wave slightly as he turns and walks down the hallway, putting his arm around Kakashi's shoulders forcefully. I sigh, reminding myself of why I am here. Lee is right through that doorway, and I have no idea what to expect.

"Will you be alright?" The nurse asks me gently. I nod and let go of her arm, keeping myself upright on my own. She leaves me alone as she retreats back to her work. I find myself staring at the door for many moments, fear taking root once again in my body. I swallow, forcing my hand to grasp the handle. Finally I open the door, walking into the room.

Lee is lying on his back, the blanket over his body rising and falling with his breaths. I close the door behind me and walk over to his bed, sitting on the edge by his feet. His face is cleaned properly now, and he looks almost peaceful, looking simply like he's sleeping. I resist the urge to place my hand upon his cheek, and instead lightly run my fingers through his tangled hair, making it frame his face neatly like it always does.

"Hey Lee-kun," I whisper, removing my hand from his hair. He doesn't respond of course, but speaking to him makes me feel slightly better somehow. The sun is beginning to set, and the orange tinted light is shining through the window, illuminating Lee. He just looks like he's sleeping when I look at him like this. But curiosity gets the better of me, and I slowly begin to lift his blanket.

His shirtless torso is half covered in bandages, and down by his stomach they have become slightly red with soaked through blood. I grimace, thinking about the vicious hole I left in him. His body, despite how muscular he is, looks so fragile right now. I replace the blanket, and instantly he looks as if he's sleeping once again.

"I'm so sorry…" I breathe, setting my hand on the blanket, resting on the lower portion of his left leg. "This is the third time I've almost killed you. I understand if you hate me now. I would have hated me long ago if I were you." I start, swallowing down the sadness burning in my throat.

"I don't deserve it, how you treat me. You're so nice to me, and you make me feel so…cared about. I know it'll be hard for you to forgive me, but I'm begging you, please don't push me away. I would never hurt you intentionally." I continue, my vision blurred severely with tears. I try to wipe them away, but they replace themselves faster than I can remove them.

"I just really…" I pause, unable to come up with the right words to describe how I feel. How can I even begin to express the emotions that Lee brings to me? We've just started to finally get to know each other, yet when I look at him I see the most beautiful face I could imagine. Every time he talks I find myself watching his lips, wondering what it'd be like to feel them against mine. And every time I see his hands, I think about when he held my hand out in the desert, under the protection of my sand dome.

Lee talks to me like I'm a normal person, and sometimes actually makes me believe I am one. Could I really become like Naruto, having friends and living happily with a purpose? I'll never know until I try, and Lee seems to be the key to that life for me.

"I just really need you. You're my best friend, and I care about you more than anything." I finish, unable to say what I really mean even when he's unconscious. If only I could just tell him I want to be with him. That's what I really want, but I've never felt like this before about anyone. This is all so new to me and I've no clue how to handle myself when I'm like this.

I look back down at Lee through my tears, and he hasn't moved a bit. I draw my knees up to my chin, perching at the end up his bed. I'll stay here until he wakes up, then I'll tell him everything. He deserves at least that after everything I've done to him, and besides, I don't think I can hold it in much longer. Thinking back to his subtle, weak breathing when I finally neared the village reminds me that in this world people die all the time. Lee, lying motionless in the bed below me, could disappear at any moment. If I lose him without even trying to show him my true feelings, it will have all been for nothing.

_I will stay here until he wakes up._

* * *

I wake slowly, immediately knowing that something is wrong. I gasp as I suddenly notice the fierce pain burning in my abdomen. What could possibly hurt this badly? I groan feebly, opening my eyes to find myself in darkness. As my eyes adjust, I realize I'm in a hospital room. By the look of it, I'm back in the Hidden Leaf, judging from the skyline visible through the window. I try to sit up, but I cry out softly as the already immense pain in my stomach surges through with a new wave of agonizing heat.

"Lee-kun, you're awake." I hear someone say quietly from the darkness. I squint, looking forward until I can make out a figure at the end of my bed. My head is spinning, and my eyes can't seem to focus. And the voice, while strongly familiar, does not invoke a name in my head quite yet.

"Who's there?" I breathe, not afraid, but curious. The figure gets up and walks around the bed, and as his face comes into the dim moonlight coming from the window, I immediately recognize it. I smile weakly as I look up at Gaara's pale, black-rimmed eyes, trying to ease the worry in them. Then suddenly everything comes flooding back to me.

The memory of Gaara's sand piercing through my body hits me hard, as if it's happening all over again. Then everything after that is faded images. Gaara flashes across my mind, his hand gripping his chest while tears pour down his face. He's staring at me in horror, realizing what happened. Then I'm being lowered down, lying on my back and watching Gaara's figure up in the trees grow farther and farther away. Then there is darkness, and the earthy smell of sand. Then nothing.

I bring myself back to the present, grimacing at the memory. Gaara is standing over me, still as a rock. Guilt, sadness, worry, and panic are all apparent on his face. I'd do anything just to ease the look he's giving me right now. Yet I can't bring myself to speak.

"Gaara-kun…" is all I can choke out, and he sits down on the bed next to me, silent. He looks away, but I can see a tear catch the moonlight as it falls from his chin. Wordlessly, I slip my right hand into his, weaving our fingers together. For once he doesn't flinch, and instead he squeezes my hand slightly.

"I'm so sorry Lee-kun." He whispers, and I can hear the sadness drenching his voice. I take a deep breath and swallow, trying to wet my dry throat so that I can speak.

"It's not your fault. It was a genjutsu. Don't blame yourself." I finally say, squeezing his hand back. He turns his head to look at me, his eyes wide.

"You already knew?" He asks.

"I saw him cast it, but didn't realize what it was until it was too late." I respond, nodding slightly. My neck is stiff and my shoulder blade burns dully with the movement.

"I almost killed you…again." He says, his voice sounding strangled. He shuts his eyes, tears oozing from between his eyelids nonetheless.

"Well you didn't mean to. And I survived, so everything is fine." I answer, trying to reassure him.

"But you almost didn't!" He whispers violently, standing up. He turns away, leaning on the windowsill.

"Gaara-kun…it's okay, I swear." I whisper in return, wanting nothing more than for him to stop feeling guilty.

"You don't get it. You don't know what you do to me." He sighs, still facing away from me. Instantly, I begin to feel myself become nervous. Is he talking about what I think he's talking about?

"What do you mean?" I ask gently, wishing I could get up and stand next to him. He hangs his head, and I watch his silhouette carefully. Gaara's wearing a hospital robe, and it makes him seem smaller than he actually is. His presence, usually calm and commanding, seems fragile now. What I'd give to just get up and wrap my arms around him. I always find myself wanting to be the one to hold him together. After everything, still all I want to do is make him happy.

"It's hard to…" He trails off. I feel my body tense with anticipation.

_Just say it!_

"I almost lost you. And I know we just became friends, but I just cannot lose you Lee-kun. You're so important to me. But it's more than that. I…" He trails off once again. I have a feeling I know what he's going to say, but he just won't say it. This is happening so fast, but I've been longing for it more than anything. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I hate to watch him struggle, so I must say it.

"I have feelings for you Gaara-kun." I say quietly, feeling myself blush immediately. He hesitates for a moment and then turns to look at me. He stares at me with wide eyes, not saying a word. I wait for him to answer, but he doesn't. For a moment, I begin to doubt myself. Was I too forward? What if he doesn't feel the same way? I wonder if I perhaps read his signs completely wrong. It wouldn't be the first time I've done that.

I peer up at him, desperately wishing for him to just say something, anything. He finally moves, stepping towards me. Then he returns to his previous seat on the right side of my bed, his body inches from mine. Still, he simply stares at me, and I find my skin prickling under his gaze.

"Say something…please." I whisper, fighting the urge to look away. Embarrassment is filling up my body now, and I start to feel almost ashamed. Why would Gaara like me in that way anyway? He's far above me in stature and could crush me like a bug anytime he wanted. I think about how flawless he looks, and how I'm usually the punch line of jokes when it comes to appearance. His skin is like that of a porcelain doll while mine is covered in scars from training and fighting. I also start to become extra aware of how loud and talkative I've been around him these last few days, and how quiet he's been. I was probably annoying him the whole time, like I do with most people. I shut my eyes, coming to the realization that I may have just ruined our friendship with my hasty words.

"I'm sorry." I breathe, tears springing up behind my eyelids. Why won't he just answer me? I fight it, but still end up letting one hot tear make its way down my face.

"Why are you crying?" Gaara finally says, and my eyes fling open. He's leaning down, looking closely at my face. Nervousness flips my damaged stomach at the sight of his face so close to mine.

"Because…you're not answering…" I can't get out the words. He's unmoving, his pale blue eyes boring into me.

"I think I have feelings for you too Lee-kun." He says suddenly. I stare up at him, unable to answer. Does he really feel the same way? "I didn't answer because I'm frightened." He says sadly.

"Why are you frightened?" I ask, finding my words again.

"I don't want to hurt you." Gaara says simply, averting his gaze from my eyes. My mind focuses involuntarily on the pain below my torso, and I fight to ignore it. He may have hurt me in the past, but I still trust him somehow. No matter how many times he sends his sand at me or pushes me away, I'm not going to stop feeling like this. I'm not going to stop caring about him the way I do.

"You won't hurt me." I argue, trying to win back his eyes.

"I already have." He says, and I can hear a new wave of tears affecting his voice before they even reach his eyes.

"I don't care," I start, reaching my hand up daringly. I slowly let it lie on his cheek, and he finally looks back at me again. "I still feel this way." I whisper. Gaara flinches, and for a moment I fear that he's going to pull away. However, he instead leans into my touch, licking his lips nervously. Then he raises a trembling hand and places it overtop mine for a moment.

"Are you sure?" He asks, pain evident in his voice as he let his hand fall back down. This boy has been hurt so badly in the past, I'm sure it's nearly impossible for him to completely trust me. I'll just have to earn his trust with time.

"I'm positive." I answer, starting to slowly bring his face down closer to mine. He moves with my hand, not fighting in the least. I don't know if either of us are ready, but I can't bite down the urge to kiss him right now. My whole life I've ignored my body's needs by pushing it past its limit daily during training. However, now I'm listening to it without hesitation, and it needs Gaara right now. I've never been kissed before, and I know he hasn't been either. I've never worried about that too much when I've been so focused on bettering myself, but right now it's becoming increasingly important with every moment.

_Just listen to your body._

My heart is racing, and now he's mere inches from my face. I can feel his warm breath feathering my moist lips. Then suddenly he closes the distance between us, and our lips connect softly. I let my eyes fall closed as I blissfully lose myself in the kiss, no matter how small and innocent it may be. Our lips simply hold each other's, and I move my hand into his soft hair, letting my fingers get tangled in his red locks. The un-wiped tears still lingering on our cheeks mingle together as he pushes even closer to me, deepening the kiss. I feel his hand slide under my head, holding me to him. All of the feelings pooling in my body are making me feel as if I'm numb everywhere except my lips.

Then he slowly pulls his face away, just enough to separate our lips. His breath once again passes over my lips. We're both motionless, unsure of how to respond to what just happened between us. We remain like that for many moments, Gaara leaning over me, our faces centimeters apart. Then he finally sits up, and I open my eyes to look at him. Even in the dim light I can see pink blazing on his usually pale cheeks. I grin slightly at that, knowing I must look the same way. Catching my breath, I watch closely for any expression on Gaara's face. However, he simply looks thoughtful.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask quietly. He raises a hand and lightly places the tips of his fingers on his lips.

"That was nice." He says simply, staring into space.

"Yeah, it was." I sigh, closing my eyes to relive it again. However, as I close my eyes I realize just how sleepy I am. My body is worn down so much and I know I'll be extra tired until I finish recovering. I know that trying to stay up all night with Gaara again will be pointless at this point.

"Hey Gaara-kun, I'm getting pretty tired. I'm sorry if I fall asleep." I say, my words starting to slur. I feel him get off the bed and hear the sound of him dragging a chair over.

"Don't be sorry. Is it okay if I stay here the rest of the night?" He asks. I nod, still not opening my eyes.

"I would like that." I answer. A smile spreads onto my face as he takes my hand in his. His skin is soft and baby-like. For a moment I wonder what he must think of my rough, weathered hands, but tiredness pushes the thought away. I'm quickly fading, and I hold on to the feeling of his skin until the last second of my consciousness.

_I sure hope none of this was a dream._


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I've been really busy with school work these past few days and it's been hard to find time to sit down and write. This chapter has a lot to do with what's going on in Gaara's mind and how he's perceived in the Leaf Village. After this, things will start to pick up, I promise!

**Now on to the story...**

* * *

A bird lands on a wire outside my window, and for a moment I feel a peace come over me as I watch it closely. Sometimes I wish I could be as carefree as a bird, just flitting from place to place, enjoying the sun without a semblance of pain in my life. However, birds don't feel strongly like humans do. If I were a bird, I'd never get to feel the satisfaction I do every time I feel myself get stronger from a training session, and I'd never get to feel all the sensations I get from Gaara.

Over the last few days I've been in my bed, recovering as quickly as I can. It's slow, but at least I can sit up now. I need help to do it of course, but Gaara is always willing to slide his arms around me and gently lift me up when I need him to. He's been visiting as much as he can. He's been busy with meetings with Lady Tsunade and preparations for what he describes as a possible attack on the Hidden Leaf in the near future. That thought plants worry deep in my mind, but it is eased with every visit he pays me. At least twice a day he comes into my room, and while he is still mostly silent, I like having him there to talk to. I tell him stories of missions and experiences from my past, and he delights me with small laughs more often than usual.

It's hard to suppress my need for him every time he's there in front of me. His white skin looks so touchable, and I want to run my fingers through his bright red hair like I did when we first kissed. And oh his tempting lips; they are the hardest to resist. I would never want to pressure him, but every time he talks, I can't help but stare. The desire to pull him down to me grows stronger inside me with every visit, but is alleviated slightly before he leaves. Gaara ends every visit with a short, but sweet kiss. His lips caress mine gently, and every time I can hear his breathing speed up. Part of me wants to tangle my fingers in his hair and force him to stay here with me and continue to grace me with his affection. However, I restrain myself and allow him to lean back slowly, opening his eyes and giving me a small smile. Then he leaves and I'm left once again in the loneliness of my hospital room.

As if on cue, I hear my door open. I turn my head to the left, expecting to see Gaara's expressionless face enter the room. Instead, the smiling face of Sakura greets me, and she walks over and sets a flower on the table next to my bed. Memories of her visits years ago when I was hurt the first time by Gaara flood back into my mind. Every time I saw a new flower from her I cherished the thought in my heart that maybe, just maybe she felt something for me too.

"Hey Lee-kun, how are you feeling?" She asks, sitting in the chair that I've grown accustomed to seeing Gaara's slender form occupying. Usually, I would be nervous with her around me, trying to figure out a way to impress her or make her laugh. However, now I simply look at her and wonder why I tried to chase her around all those years. A distant pain arises in my heart, faded but still there nonetheless.

"I'm doing great, thanks for asking." I answer, giving her an honest smile. I can't be angry with her for not loving me the way I loved her. I was never oblivious to the way she looked at Sasuke before he left, but I simply tried to ignore it. Now I realize that the way she looked at him is the same way Gaara looks at me now. There's concern and care for my well being, and a slight fear of rejection, and a desperation to be close. But most importantly there's a happiness, no matter how strained, that shines through. No, I can't be angry with Sakura when all she did was see Sasuke the way Gaara and I see each other now. There's nothing wrong with that.

"I brought you a flower, like old times." She says with a grin. I turn my head and stare at the single white flower for a few moments. It's not like old times, not at all. But I still appreciate the gesture.

"I see. Thank you very much Sakura-chan." I reply, still gazing at the beautiful, solitary flower.

"You're welcome. I hope you like it." She starts, looking out the window thoughtfully. "I might have to start stocking up. Gaara-sama always seems to be putting you in the hospital." She says, turning back to me with a chuckle. I know she means it as a joke, but I can't help but feel slighted by the comment.

"It's not his fault. We've just had a few streaks of bad luck." I explain, trying to keep myself calm. I've always held politeness as one of my most important virtues, but when it comes to Gaara my whole demeanor can change in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, I guess it is bad luck that you keep ending up near the guy." She agrees, misunderstanding my meaning.

"No, that's not what I meant. He's a good person Sakura-chan. It wasn't his fault this time, and he would never hurt me intentionally anymore." I explain, trying to keep my cool still. She stares at me quizzically for a few moments, but then smiles and gets up.

"You always see the best in people. I wish I could be as nice as you are sometimes." She answers, tousling my hair slightly. "I've got to get back to Master Tsunade though. I'll visit you again soon!" She calls back to me as she walks to the door. Sakura stops as she almost runs into Gaara, who was just about to enter the room.

"Sorry." He mutters, stepping out of her way.

"_I'm_ sorry, Lord Kazekage." She says respectfully, sliding past him. Then he walks into my room, closing the door behind him. My spirits lift immediately as he nears me, and all the frustration from Sakura's words vanish. After setting down his gourd he sits on the side of my bed silently, not looking at me but instead looking at the table next to my bed.

"A flower," He states quietly, almost as if he's asking himself a question. Then he turns to me. "Should I be getting you flowers as well?" He asks, his jaw tense. Distress is clear on his face.

"No, I just want to see you. That's the most important thing to me." I respond, trying to sit up. He wordlessly wraps his arms around me and gently lifts me, his expression not changing in the slightest. "What's wrong?" I ask, now sitting up. His hand passes over my face and begins to smooth down my hair.

"That girl messed up your hair." He answers quietly, and I see a glint of something new in his eyes. Is Gaara jealous?

"You don't have to worry about Sakura. She's just a friend." I explain, hoping to soothe the worry in his expression. He sighs, retreating his hand from my head.

"I may not be experienced, but I know that you used to have feelings for her. You made it as obvious as you possibly could during the exams. And now she's giving you flowers. That's a sign of affection anyway you look at it." He argues calmly, trying to hide the hurt he's feeling. I can see through it though, I always can. Gaara is so new to this, and so afraid of being betrayed. I have to remind myself that this boy is hurt more easily than others.

"I don't have feelings for her anymore, I promise. Even before this I stopped thinking of her in that way a while ago. She's just a good friend, and the flower was just a get well present. Friends do that for each other, like when Neji and Tenten dropped off my favorite meal for me other day." I try to make it easy for him to understand. Gaara has been cut off from relationships his entire life, and I understand that it's hard for him to see the dynamics of different kinds of bonds. He looks down, avoiding my gaze.

"Okay…I'm sorry." He apologizes.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I jumped to conclusions."

"It happens. And I can understand why you did." I answer, looking desperately into his eyes for even a slight decrease in the pain burning within them.

"I'm just not used to this yet." The redhead admits quietly. I nod, knowing exactly what he means. I too regularly worry about losing him. Despite our devotion to each other, it's almost hard to believe that he really feels the same way about me that I do him.

"We'll get used to it together." I say, giving him a reassuring smile. He grins back, finally letting himself relax a little. Gaara moves up to sit next to me, both of us leaning against the metal headboard.

"I have more news." He says, referring to the numerous updates I ask him to give me concerning the progression of the problems occurring around Konoha. We've come to know recently that the men who attacked the two of us were members of the elite organization that Lady Tsunade originally sent the message to Gaara about. The Anbu have been gathering intelligence constantly the last few days, and have come to the conclusion that the unknown group is trying to gain political power over Suna and Konoha. Investigations concerning the higher ups within our own village have started, because evidence has shown that they have inside connections with the Village. The whole situation is cause for great concern, and everyone has been preparing for battle lately.

"The Anbu spies gained intelligence last night suggesting that in a week's time there will be an attack on the village." He says solemnly. I swallow, looking down at the sheets covering my legs. For a moment my mind flashes back to the aftermath of the invasion of the Sand and Sound ninjas during the exam. The Third Hokage ended up dead, and many shinobi lost their lives as well during the struggle. Now that my friends and I have aged up and shoulder much more responsibility in the village, I can't help but wonder if those dear to me will be the ones possibly losing their lives this time.

"How big of an attack?" I ask. Gaara shakes his head in frustration.

"We have no idea, but we're preparing for the worst. I've sent for some of my best Shinobi from Suna, and they should be here in a few days to offer support." He explains.

"Thank you for doing that."

"We're allies, so of course I'll help in the Hidden Leaf's time of need." Gaara says simply. I wish he could see how I see him, noble and smart. He understands how to handle tough situations like this and always seems to make the right decisions. Everyone has been calling on him for meetings here lately because of his strong advice and fearless attitude. I sometimes wish I could be as respectable as him.

"You're a really great person, you know that?" I say, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Thanks Lee-kun." He answers quietly, only tensing for an almost imperceptibly small moment at the touch. Gaara's eyes are out of focus, and I can tell he's deep in thought. I force myself to be quiet for once and let him think, simply enjoying his presence. His breath weaves through the hair on the top of my head and I settle into his side, enjoying the closeness of our bodies. Gaara usually just sits in the chair next to my bed, only holding my hand sometimes or brushing his fingers fleetingly over my face. However, now he's here next to me, and the feeling it gives me warms me up inside more than I ever dreamed it could.

"Gaara-kun…" I breathe, closing my eyes in relaxation.

"Hm?"

"Nothing. I just like saying your name." I admit with a grin. He's silent for a few moments, and then he leans his head on mine, his longer, auburn hair tickling my cheek softly.

"You're so cute." He finally says, and a huge, stupid smile spreads uncontrollably onto my face, along with blush. Never has he said anything like that to me. I turn my head and give him a small peck on the cheek, making him jump slightly, and his face turns pink as well.

"You're the cute one." I reply, and he stays silent. I don't mind how quiet Gaara is and how little compliments he offers up, because I know that's just his personality. However, when he does say things like this, it reassures me of his affection. I hope that in time he'll open up more to me like he is now. I love seeing him relaxed like this.

* * *

"Kazekage Gaara, we received a message not too long ago that your backup in on their way." Lady Tsunade exclaims as I enter her office, still looking down at her papers. I nod, coming to a halt in front of her desk.

"Good. I hope they will be of significant use."

"I hope we don't have to use them at all," Tsunade sighs, rubbing her temples. "But thank you again for doing this. You've been such a great help since you showed up. The whole Leaf Village thanks you." She says, looking up at me and forcing a smile. I can see how stressed she is, and the dullness of her eyes suggests she needs more sleep.

"Of course. The Hidden Leaf has helped us on many occasions. We're allies."

"I know, but I mean you personally are great to have around right now. You've turned out to be quite the leader." She explains. It almost sounds odd hearing such kind words come from the usually stubborn, older woman.

"Thank you." I respond, not used to hearing this sort of talk from anybody but Lee, and occasionally Gai. Maybe I'm actually starting to form friendships like Lee always says I can. I quizzically search her face for signs of it, not sure what I should be looking for.

"You _should_ be thanking me, because I got you out of all the meetings for the rest of the day." She says with a smirk.

"Oh, but if I'm needed I don't mind." I say politely, hoping in my heart of hearts that she doesn't agree.

"You'll be needed plenty once your reinforcements arrive. I figured I'd give you a day off to rest and visit Lee while I still can." Tsunade offers. I try to restrain the blush that starts to arise at the mention of Lee's name. Thanking her, I bow with respect, mostly trying to hide my face. "There's no need to bow." She says loudly, waving me off. I nod and turn to walk out of her office.

"It's nice to see you two such close friends now, despite everything. The world could use more people like you two." She says to my back as I near the doorway. I pause, wondering if she really knows what's going on and is just playing with me. However, I guess it would be obvious to anyone with how much I've been visiting Lee that we're at least friends. I turn and give her a short smile before leaving.

As I'm walking down a main street on my way back to the hospital, I feel a heavy arm land upon my shoulders, suddenly and forcefully. Immediately, a vibrant fear rears up inside me and I duck out of the stranger's grasp and spin around to face them, my hands shaking with the effort of keeping my sand inside. Once again I come to face that yellow, spiky hair, framing a face accented with whiskers.

"Naruto." I try to say calmly between haggard breaths. Standing straight, I force the quaking of my gourd to cease, raising a hand to offer Naruto a small wave. I'm not used to all of these different interactions that encounter me endlessly here in the Leaf Village. In my mind I see myself as just coming off awkward.

"Whoa, are you okay Gaara?" He asks, tilting his head quizzically. I nod, swallowing down my initial reaction to the surprising encounter. My mind flits back to a conversation Lee and I had the other day. He said that he feels like he talks too much, and I said that I talk too little. That small frown of his appeared on his face, and he said that he thinks I'm afraid to say what I'm thinking. I nodded, admitting that as the truth. He sighed, leaning his head back, staring at the ceiling.

_"I know it may be different over in the Sand Village, but here people will want to hear what you have to say."_

"I'm fine, but could you please try not to startle me like that?" I ask politely, trying my best not to come off sounding demanding. Naruto, to my relief, lets out an embarrassed chuckle and scratches the back of his head.

"Oh, sorry about that! You know me." He says, beginning to walk along side me.

"Yes, the Leaf Village's number one unpredictable ninja." I say with a small chuckle. His face brightens at my comment and his raises two fists into the air.

"You got that right!" He shouts, smiling widely with his eyes closed. I watch him in amusement, thinking that he may even be more hyper than Lee is. Naruto resumes walking with me, talking and laughing loudly, attracting obvious attention from those walking the street. However, instead of being annoyed or averse, they all give him entertained glances, smiling before looking away. This boy, who's so similar to me in so many ways, has somehow made himself a place in this village. I've yet to meet a person who doesn't like him and look up to him. I know it's much to do with his personality, which is a stark contrast to mine, but I watch the boisterous boy out of the corner of my eye and wonder if he will want to hear what I have to say like Lee suggested.

"Hey Naruto, can I ask you a question?" I ask quietly. He stops babbling and turns to me with a nod. Here goes nothing. "How do you have so many friends?" I ask timidly, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of opening up to someone. Naruto's smile fades, and while I've never told him much about my life, he understands me more than anyone else ever could.

"I know it's hard to understand when you've been alone your whole life, but the people here have started to realize that I'm not just the beast inside me, but an actual person." He looks up at the sky, his feet slowing to a halt. We're now on a bridge that passes over one of the rivers that go through town, and I can feel the wind pick up in the empty air space away from the buildings. "Even though I felt alone for so long, I just kept trying. Once people got to know me, they didn't hate me. Now I have so many friends I can barely count them. I have teachers, people who I will always respect and look up to. And I have so many comrades, who I will protect with my life…It's all about not giving up." He finishes, leaning on the railing of the bridge, facing me. I look down at the river, watching the water pass by lazily. Why couldn't I have been more like Naruto?

"But I gave up for so long. I feel like it's too late to take it back." I sigh, feeling defeated. He slides next to me, looking out over the water as well.

"You can't take it back, but you can be forgiven. You'd be surprised how understanding people can be." He explains. I nod slowly, thinking about Lee's unconditional forgiveness for everything I did to him in the past. "Besides, you don't give yourself enough credit. You've already got friends here. I consider you my friend, and I know you and Lee are friends. You spend practically all your time with the guy." He continues. I nod again in agreement, not feeling embarrassed at the mention of my friendship with Lee this time. If Naruto knew, would it really be that bad? "And a lot of people like you around here, especially after hearing how much you've been helping us out this past week. Maybe we're just different than the people of your village, but we can tell a good guy when we see him." I tense, wondering if he truly thinks I'm a good person. Maybe I am now?

I close my eyes, trying to sort out my thoughts. All of my feelings have been changing constantly ever since Lee arrived in Suna, and now it feels as if all of my ideals are changing around once again. Naruto was the one who first made me realize I wanted to live for something bigger than just myself, but Lee made me realize that I want to also live for the people who I care about, and who hopefully care about me.

"Thank you Naruto." I reply softly. He smiles at me and stretches his arms.

"Also, I overheard some girls saying you're cute the other day!" He informs me, returning to his usual silly state. I sigh with mild amusement, waving off his claim and continuing my walk to the hospital. He follows, going on about how lucky I am and how he wishes girls thought about him the same way, mainly Sakura. Immediately my mind goes back to the pink haired girl who was leaving a flower for Lee. Perhaps I really don't have anything to worry about when it comes to her.

When we finally arrive at the hospital, Naruto departs, mentioning something about ramen. I wave goodbye to him and make my way into the large building. As I walk the hallways I rethink the conversation I just had. Do the people of this village really feel that way about me? I would have killed them all if Naruto hadn't stopped me back during the exams, and yet they've already forgiven me? Now that I think of it, people do not shy away from me in the streets like they do back home. In their minds I've proven myself as trustworthy.

_ If only I could prove that to the Sand Village._


End file.
